Tuesday, April 28, 2009
I'll Be Your Diamond Boy
"I'm your Diamond Boy
The one you put the rock on
I'm your Diamond Boy
The one that you quit the game for"
If none of you recognize these revised lyrics, than I guess y'all don't check out my "Ah That's My Jam" of the Moments, at least to hear them once. This is the hook for Ryan Leslie's "Diamond Girl" with a little twist from me. It was like my Jam a few months back I believe. I don't know why but this song has been running through my head lately. It's what actually inspired this post, well sorta...at least the title anyway. To be honest what really inspired this post, is the fact that...well I just had a birthday. Not going to say when, but it was this month. I didn't post about it, like I didn't last year, because I don't like to talk about my birthday. I have my reasons. I will get to them in a minute.
Here's something funny, twice this month, I've heard from people, who find out my birthday was this month, something on the line of..."Dang...your birthday is this month, every person I've met who was born in April, have been some arrogant people" Okay how are you just going to group us all like that. You didn't think I was arrogant before you found out, did you? Well maybe they did and just ignored it. This has not been the first time I've heard the comment. However this comment is usually followed after hearing I'm an Aries. I remember this one conversation a few years ago, with some co-workers of mine. When one of them found out I was an Aries it open up this flood gate.
Co-worker 1: "You are an Aries?...Oh that makes so much sense now"
Me: "What do you mean?"
Co-worker 1: "Well when I first met you, I thought you was an uppity little negro!"
Co-worker 1:"Yeah I was like look at this nigga acting like his shit don't stink."
Me: Mouth gaped open
Co-Worker 2: "You too...I thought I was the only one who thought that!"
Co-worker 1: Laughs "No you were not alone"
Co-Worker 2: "When I first met Young I was like...uh attitude...excuse me for breathing"
Co-Worker 1: "Won't he though?...all cold acting and chili...nigga think he cute or something... with that face of his that he makes"
Meanwhile my head is flying from one person to the other just speechless as they compare notes and memories about how cold, uppity and arrogant they first I was, as if I'm not standing right there. I have to admit I had never heard this about myself before then. Let me just say this job I first started when I was a senior in High school. Co-worker 2 was a female part timer like me and Co-Worker 1 was a full time department supervisor.
Co-Worker 2: "Yeah he was, but now that I know him, he's a sweetheart! I love him!"
Co-Worker 1: "Yeah he aight...I guess. Still acts like his shit don't stink sometimes" and Laughs
Let me just say this. I know when to turn it on and off. Sometimes it's a lot easier to turn it off than to turn the "Boy you so crazy" on. When I go onto a new job, that gets turned off quick, fast, and in a hurry. So yes I might come off quit, aloof, and distance. I think it's the dumb folk, that come onto a job, acting like they no everything, and how everybody operates. I don't I am in feel you out mode with my co-workers and I am in getting myself settle vibe. I am like that in a lot of situations, where I am not the most comfortable. now when need be I will turn the charm button on and smile and give you warm, but if not necessary, then you don't get it.
I will admit I cam be a bit bougie and uppity at times. There I said. I know me. I am not the nigga you call to keep it real...to keep it street...to keep it hood! You call me, you will get "Oh man naw I can't do the keeping it Hood tonight. But yo call me next week when you want to keep it Bougie, I got you on that, for real...aight then see you then!"
Anyway I don't really like to celebrate my birthday, because I feel its another year older and another year I haven't made it to where I'm suppose to be in my life. I remember, I believe it was 8th grade, when we had to write out out 10 or 15 year life plan and goals. My my age now I should have finished my Bachelors Summa Cum Laude, and either working up that corporate ladder or working on my Masters or MBA. I should be in a serious relationship with my college sweetheart and either married or engaged. I read at the time that most people find their spouses while in college. So I figured I would find the future Mrs. Young Black by then. In a few years I would be working on baby one, but have a new dog by now. That was the plan, and I really thought that was how it was going to play out. Look at me now. On my umteenth major, still working on getting that one done...be lucky if I graduate Thank U Summa Lawdy! Master or MBA yeah right! Not sure what I want for my career path. Not doing bad on the job front but not a career as I would say. No need to discuss that whole getting married crap, you know how that's going. The future Mrs. Young Black, yeah right! I guess I feel like I'm not fulfilling my potential. I was at city Hall a few weeks ago taking care of some business, had to file some papers, anyway I saw a friend from high school. When I saw her with her business suit and a briefcase, it made me want to go the other way. She wanted to work in the government, she was in the Model UN and other things, and guess what...she works in the government. I feel like I'm all over the place however. And another birthday rolls around and...well kinda a failure...I'm no where near my plan. I know plans change but....ehhh
Wow how did that happen? How did I go from talking about being a diamond boy to a pity party. No matter if I am where I want to be at 23 or not...I will always be a Diamond Boy! To be honest I think that fits me. I think the diamond is classic style and timeless. I think that's me...lol I can't image any other birthstone. It's simple in composition, but when the light hits it, can't nothing beat it reflection and shine. And no that's not arrogance, just calling it as I see it! A diamond means "Everlasting love"...now if that doesn't scream me then I don't know what does people. A diamond is versatile, and like me You can dress me up and you can dress me down. There is some birthstones that is either or. You really can't dress down Sapphires or Ruby, how can you dress those things down? Then take the Peridot and the Citrine, those are hard things to dress up. However every Socialite and Rapper can tell you you can dress a diamond up or down. It means strength and invincibility...I mean hello! I am like the diamond I endure in your hearts forever...forever and ever?...FOREVER!! I feel very diamond like, I feel its me!
I feel that's the only upside to being born in April. I mean the whole pollen thing is so not me. I mean if y'all could see my eyes right now, good lawd. Y'all would be like, "WOW, now were you born with red eyes or are those contacts?...and why is you crying, did your dog die?" The sunglasses get there wear out of me during the Spring for sure. I embrace the April Showers, that is me! I'm mean I'm not exactly a spring guy other than that. I love the warm rain. Any who here is my rambling post to the month of April...I was all over the place wasn't I...hmmm
I am your Diamond BOY!!!!!!
and yes my stuff don't stink...