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Friday, April 17, 2009

I'm 1 years old, Happy Bloggerversary..Time to get that haircut!

After reading my fellow blogger, Fuzzy's last post about his 3 year Blog anniversary coming up, I thought about mine. I remember that I had my first post last year around Easter. I doubled checked and realized that I missed my First Year Bloggerversary last month. Easter was in March last year, so on March 22, I missed my one year mark of my DL journey chronicle. I'm really bummed about that, but I guess late is better than never. It fits me well. I'm late for everything else, why not this. Anyway, I know Fuzzy is doing the "Ask Me Anything Question and Answer" post, and I know others do that also for their anniversary or birthday, but I'm going to do something a little different for my first blog anniversary. I'm going to talk about one particular subject...Barbershops!

Yes, I said barbershops. Okay...early last year, I happened to be reading and commenting on a particular website forum, that is geared to an audience of...shall we say, minority men, who may or may not be curious about sex with other minority men. Yeah, that sounds good. Anyway, one particular discussion was on barbers or barbershops, can't really remember. I think it had something to do with sexual feelings or sexual actions with a barber...well, most likely anyway. Well, someone on this particular post, posted a link to a page about the same subject. I clicked the link, and was escorted to a blog page, with a post called The Shop.(Click to read that post.) That page happened to belong to, That Dude Right There, of Getting Myself Together. Well I enjoyed that post and continued to read other post and then his current post of his, early last year. After that I started checking out other bloggers, who was commenting, and then began reading their blogs. It wasn't to much longer, that I became addicted and sucked in by the blogger world. One day I decided that I was going to start my own, and want was the big journey that I was going through personally, and the rest is Young, Black, and Down Low history. I really believe if it wasn't for me reading the simple post about another black man's experience at a barbershop, that spiral, from a forum thread, that led me to "The Shop" post, I might not have my personal outlet and confidant, my blog right now.

Now here is the really funny thing. I just got off the phone tonight, with a guy, talking about barbers, I haven't told you guys about him yet. He is brand new dude, and I will get to writing about him soon, but I have a feeling, everybody is going to have strong feelings about him. However I have a feeling he is going to be in my life for a minute, I just get that feeling. Anyway he asked me about where I go to get my haircut done. I told him about the little spot I go. From what I gather he is a little unhappy with his barber, not because of his barber's skills, but because of his personal feelings for his barber. Apparently he is attracted to his barber, and he is afraid that his barber might figure it out. This is even more of an issue, because his barber is 17, and he finds his feelings to be really inappropriate. He told me he even wears sunglasses to hide his eyes, when the barber is cutting his hair. He was telling me about his barbershop past, and it seems he likes going to guys, that are attractive, or has one sexy dude in the shop. Here's the thing, I think there is a lot of DL or Out men, who are the same way. I am not, well I don't think so. I'm very sensitive about my hair, I don't mind seeing a cute face, but I care about what my hair looks like after the cut, THE MOST! However I am finding, that not all men are like that. Now I'm about to throw out a theory, I'm a little afraid since I haven't tested it out yet. I just thought about it right at this moment. I'm brainstorming as I type this, so y'all get to be a witness or in on my flowing thoughts. My thesis is...I wonder if you can tell if a man gets down with other men, based on his barber. If he only gets his hair cut by attractive men, does that mean he get down with men then? Hmmmm Now the only way for this theory to pan out, you will have to know what a man's barber history was, and what they looked like. Unless we look at it the other way. Instead of looking to see how cute the barber is, and that meaning the client is gay or bi; lets look at to see how ugly the barber is, and that meaning the client must be straight. That makes sense, right? So here's my thesis, if the barber is ugly, then you know the man in question (the guy getting his hair cut), must be straight and doesn't get down! I will work the kinks out of that theory later, it was just off the top of my head.

The barbershop I go to now, I've only been going there for a couple of years. Before that shop, I bounced around from shop to shop, from barber to barber, from hole in the walls shop to other hole in the walls shops. Before then I went to one barbershop for about 12 years I believe it was. Now that was true loyalty. I loved that shop. Nice clean classy black establishment. It was completely different from the shop I was used to, as an even smaller child, with my dad. It was a barbershop, that was appointment oriented, but walk-in accepted. I hated that sitting and waiting portion of the barbershop experience before then, and even now, that I am back to that. Anyway my barber of 12 years, truly just upped and moved to another state without real notice, and that left me out in the cold; bouncing from one barber to another. The barbershop I go to now, about 5 minutes from me, unlike my old barbershop, that was 25 minutes away, is just convenient. I just picked some place that was quick and easy.

Now let's get to my current barber, T. I have been to pretty much everyone in my barbershop at least once. I settle, on because I thought he was a cool nigga and funny. he cut my hair pretty decent, and at the time, I thought he had the least customers. Now it seems he is the one with the longest wait. He is the youngest in the shop about 24, and has every other young nigga as his barber. Here's the thing, I wonder if my barber gets down?

Now I think the barbershop, is like the army. They have a don't ask don't tell policy going on. Even if a nigga comes in, with another guy, who obviously is his boyfriend, none says anything. Not because they don't care, but its an awkward no one says anything moment. I saw it once, it wouldn't be so bad, if boyfriend say in the sitting area like everybody else, with the girlfriends, fathers, and single mothers. No boyfriend takes a chair and sits it right besides his man in the barbers chair, like someone was going to steal him. You know how you can feel no one saying anything on purpose, even when the love birds leave. It's very much like the army. I think even so with barbers. Now I understand that their are so out barbers, or barbers, who are rumored to mess around, but most of the time I think they are on the DL or Discreet tip. Here's why I think its like that. Getting your haircut, if you think about it, is very soft and tender moment. It's the only time, where another man, can touch another man's head. Move his head, lift his chin, run his fingers through his hair, and it not really consider gay actions. Some might think, if the barber is gay, then his actions would be consider moves...stupid, but I'm sure someone would think the nonsense.

Now my thoughts on T. is very circumstantial, but hmmm. Okay well the first one, is very immature on my part, and stupid, but had me thinking. His favorite places, that he talks about all the time, DC clubs and Atlanta. Those are two of his favorite places, both are heavy gay and DL hot spots. I know Atlanta has been the new black hot spot for a while, and Black Hollywood, but considered a Gay Mecca now too. Second he really has no girlfriend of heavy affection. I hear about a couple girls, but he really doesn't date like that. Not like the others who always talking about sex or their steady woman. Next the lip gloss situation. I think he wears lip gloss. now I don't mean chapstick or Vaseline, I mean something with "Watermelon Splash" or "Very Berry Sexy", in the title. The first time I noticed it, I thought he must have just eating some fried chicken or something, you know how barbershops and beauty shops are, they always have the around the way food hook up. After a couple of visit, I started to think, well am I always coming after he eats. That is until I beat him, one morning getting to the shop. In fact I had to call him at home, and wake him up. When he gets to the shop, first thing in the morning, lips just glossing. I started singing Lil' Mama's song "Lip Gloss," in my head. My lip gloss is cool, My lip gloss is poppin' all the boys be stoppin' Everybody else seems not to notice it, but his lips, be shining like new money! Lastly, a friend of his was making a movie. he does local directing and self produces his own movies. T was suppose to play a character in the movie. Well, T had a real problem one day with script. It was a horror movie or something, a DL think T was one of the killers or something. I don't know I wouldn't buy the movie, when it was done. Anyway t, had a problem with a part in the script. His character supposedly likes blood or something, he was suppose to lick the blood off of a face of a guy he just killed. Well, T had a real problem, with him having to Lick another mans face. How it was gay. He seemed to be protesting it a little to much. I stepped in the conversation, while he was cutting my hair. I told him that no one was going to think he was gay, just because he licks another grown mans face in a movie, its acting. I explained how Will Smith played a gay person once, and no one thought he was gay, and I listed other actors like that too. He just wouldn't see around people think he was gay by doing that. He eventually did it, but he made the biggest racket about it...that left me with the Hmmmsss.

Now I wouldn't care about it so much, his personal business is his, that's my motto, but I think I'm starting to feel him. I wasn't before, but now I think I am, the longer he cuts my hair. He has a Jason Weaver thing going look. Jason Weaver from the "Smart Guy" show and "Drumline" and "ATL." T also has dimples on both chicks, that you can swim in. Now I never have those haircut experiences, That I hear some men have, where they feel the barbers penis on their arm or shoulder, while they get a cut. Everything always seems normal, but my 6th sense...the DL sense...tells me that I might be onto something. just like my bones say that the other barber in the shop, has had a guy as a sexual partner at least once. The other barber, he has all these tattoos, and comes off as the shop ladies man whore. He is your typical ex prison, now current barber. Straight thug...with the wife beater or basketball jersey on and the sagging pants. I mean I have truly seen his draws and ass...I mean full ass more than I've seen my own. You can't tell me he hasn't had his dick sucked by a good two men before, and you can't tell me T doesn't want to...mister this isn't lip Gloss, it's chapstick.

The Barbershop...The new don't ask, don't tell policy upholder!

Happy Belated BLOGGERVERSARY to ME!!!! May the next be better!!!!!!

15 comments: said...


Been blog stalking you for a while, thought I'd say hi on this momentous of occasions! :-)

Anonymous said...

My head hurts! LOL @ your theory.

I fell out laughing at the visual of the boyfriend taking a sit right next to his man while he's getting his haircut.

Happy Bloggerversary!!!!

Q said...

Happy Bloggerversary...!

Anonymous said...

im looking forward to you finishing this and proposing your theory so we can have a spirited discussion. feel free to hit me on YIM; your mind works in mysterious ways.

but barbershop especailly good one is like a wonderful sociological creature and a wonderful place to just go relax and hang out with the guys. i have fond memories of barbershops from my younger days i too had the same barber from the time i was 9 - 19. he was my hero in many ways! he just had it all and to this day no one has been able to cut my hair as good as good as him. so much so i now keep my barber money and cut my hair myself. it's a good thing im easy on the eyes :-D!!!

K.C. said...

Hey YB&DL, Happy Anniversary man!

Mine is coming up too (next month) ...

wow, only one year? serious? ha!

Once again, Happy Anniversary!!! :o)

Manchild said...

hells yeah...those barbers throw
much shade ....its the touching
and rubbing their crotches on
u barber threw my legs
apart to give my mustache a
shapeup and I felt like he wanted
to throw som d's...but I keeps it
professional...yah speaks the
truth...barbers is dl lik a
motherfuk manchild

That Dude Right There said...

Happy Blog Anniversary! You have truly kept me entertained!

Now for the comment.
"I wonder if you can tell if a man gets down with other men, based on his barber. If he only gets his hair cut by attractive men, does that mean he get down with men then?"

One of my barbers is cute as hell and the other is a female. So what's that do for your theory?

But when it comes to the barbershop, I just need one close. I went to the same barber for 2 years, but when I moved to the burbs, I had to find a close shop. But I do miss him. He was Jamaican with that heavy accent and that heavy, plump dick that he always rested on my leg or arm.

Oh, and the dude could cut some damn hair!!! He's the only one that could give me that "almost bald, but a little fuzz" haircut that I like! NO ONE has been able to do that! So now that i'm moving back into the city, I might be moving back to that shop!

That Dude Right There said...

And oh yeah, this was one of your best post!! And it's not because you gave me a shoutout either!!!

Chet said...

Happy First Year Fellow Blogger! Thank you for sharing your thoughts, insights and humor for the past year.

Research has proven that all men who like men like good looking men and only use the not so Denzel brotha as altenative, but we do not choose our barbers by looks so there is no way to based your study on barbers. I used to go to the same dude for years and he was no more attracttive than I am and I am not phine in any sense of the word, but well groomed, tall and nicely built, not to mention dick! I like men that remind me of me so vain right, but my barber is was tall a nice dick and could cut and shave a brothas hair better than most, so I think we all would like to have a hot barber, but first and foremost we appreciate a good cut and shave.

PRIMO said...

Happy Bloggerversary! Congrats!

Hmmmm...... This theory could be true cause i know when i walk in the shop i do look for the cutest one. But i also pay attention to their own hair. I try to go to the one with the best looking haircut, so i at least know what i'm in for....

Anonymous said...

This post has me worried. I mean, I'm always skeptical about all men.

I know that there is a transvestite at my barber shop. When she first came to work there, the fellas was talking to her like they were none the wiser. I don't think they were. I mean, they were using very specific language that would normally only be directed towards a man. As a result, she kept checking me out to gauge my reactions. She could tell that I was examining her physique. Nope, no facial hair. Relatively high pitched voice. I didn't say anything, it ain't my business.

yet another black guy said...

Happy Anniversary - i'm late as hell LOL! but i think your theory might be one that many of us dudes have: wishing and putting more into a few instances than is really warranted. Still, many a romance has started just by 'wondering' :)

Jersey Brotha said...

My barber is quite a looker too. He's got dimples, brown skinned, 6'2" and about 180. I like his swagga too. Only downside is that he has kind of a chipped tooth in the front, but oh well. He sags his pants when he's cuttin, and when I'm sitting there waiting, you better believe I'm observing what his mama gave him on the backside lol.

I seriously doubt that my barber gets down. Haven't gotten any clues at all about him that he does. But then again, there have been quite a few lesbians that come into the barber shop that he's cool with. So if the right gay dude came along (ummmm me lol), perhaps he can jump over to the other side.

Happy Bloggerversary! May you have many, many more DL stories to tell :)

FlyyGurl said...

Happy Blogoversary, Trollop! lol...I missed mine've got me wondering now if bitches in the hair shop are side eyein me....too bad I do all my weaves at home! lol

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