Follow by Email

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Are We There Yet,Von?...Road Trip Continues

"Von, how do you know it's really your baby?"

As soon as I said it I regretted, saying it. I regretted not because of what his answer might be or what the real answer was, but I regret asking it, because of what it would say about me. I regretted asking it, because of what that question made me feel like. An unfamiliar feeling, for me. Von responds, "Y, I just know son." He did see the baby once, so maybe he felt some sort of paternal connection, that he knew that it was his child. However then he went on to say,"...She hadn't been with anyone in a while, before we hooked up. I was her first in a long time, and her stuff was tight as a I'm her baby daddy." Okay I'm not going to even front about how much I was struggling not to tear down the nonsense, that was his logic, as to him being the child's father. I mean this was the dumbest reasoning I had ever heard of. I mean I debated this in my mind for a minute. I mean he only slept with her one time, but I know it only takes one time to make a baby. He wasn't in a relationship with her so, he don't know who else she was doing, basing it of word and tightness, was ridiculous. However I was struggling with another battle. That battle with my surfacing feelings about him being a father. There was a part of me, that didn't want him to be this child's father. I couldn't explain it, why I cared one way or another. I mean it's not like we are in a relationship or anything. We are just two guys who mess around and kick it once in awhile. I mean I'm not sure if I would even put him in a friend category. I have a feeling he would consider me one, but I'm not sure I would. I felt like if I cared, what does that say about me? Suddenly I felt like the women on Maury Povich, who didn't want their guy's ex girlfriend's child to belong to their man. I certainly didn't like that feeling, but I understood it. The truth was there was a chance this couldn't be his child; who knows who else she had been with. However look where that put me, right back where I didn't want to be. Like a chick telling her man, to deny his child. Tearing down some girl's reputation, that I didn't even know. I don't know what went on between her and Von, chances are it was his child, and I'm sitting here like a Maury Povich new chick. I felt if I said anything to Von, that is what I would become, and I'm man, who is not in a relationship with this dude. What him and that chick did and the paternity of that baby, has nothing to do with what me and Von has and what we do. Plain and Simple! I sat there and drove, and kept my mouth shut, even to that dumb logic floating around in my car.

We get to the 'Burg and I get off the exit, that she says to get off of, when we get there. The only problem is that it takes us onto another highway. I tell Von to call her, and ask her, where do we go from here. He calls her and has her on speaker phone. He tells her that we have gotten off the exit, where to we go from here. Her sleepy voice illuminates the car, she tells us to just keep driving until we hit, S-Hill. I tell Von to ask her what exit though and she responds that is the exit. That it is about a 20 minute drive, from where we are now. Not more than 30 seconds after she says this I pass a distance sign, that says S-Hill, is 57 miles away. I tell Von that this can't be right. He repeat everything verbatim back to her, like a parrot. Even what she says and he has her on speaker phone,I can hear her perfectly. I tell Von, that the sign just said 57 miles away, and he repeats. She responds that is correct, he repeats. I keep saying trying to completely grasp that me and this dumb chick on the phone are on the same page, that she lives another 57 miles away. She understands completely.
Von says, "57 miles huh?"
I respond, "Yeah 57 miles."
"That means about 57 minutes, don't it Young?"
"Yeah Von, it does" He is going back to what I was explaining to him earlier that night. I guess I did teach him something.
Von then says, "That means about another hour drive don't it?"
"Yeah...another hour, Von"
He then tells the girl that he will call her back. There is nothing but silence in the car and nothing is said. I'm thinking to myself, like hell I'm driving another hour, wasting my gas so he can see his baby mama. This was just suppose to be a booty call tonight and look where it's going. As if he was reading my mind, Von then says," I understand whatever you are thinking, but on the real Young I'm leaving in like 12 hours. I'm trying to do right. Before I go I need to do this. I don't even have any pictures of my son." I'm looking straight ahead, I can feel him looking at me. It wasn't a direct plea for help, but I got where he was coming from. I say nothing; I just keep driving, in anger. In my anger silence he knew that my continuance in driving and passing exits to turn around meant "yes". A few minute later, still with no word from me, he says thanks. He then says, "Man, do I got to pee!" He was pushing it now, I continue driving in silence ignoring him. Let the nigga hold it!

After about 15 minutes in my silent protest. Von pulls a CD out of his jacket, from home. He asks can he eject what I have playing, and put it in. Still on my silent protest, all he gets is a nod. It must have been some sort of Bad boy greatest hits, because he had Total, 112, Craig Mack, Biggie, Faith, etc on it. Then Von begins to sing along, and killing every single song. I mean completely murdering classics. I wish I could say he was joking, but this nigga was dead serious. It was like a cat screeching!!! It did make me loose my anger...just a bit though.

About 20 miles from S-Hill I see a highway rest stop coming up. The highway is only two lanes going one way, and two lanes going the opposite direction, however they are separated my thick woods, so you can't see the opposite traffic at all. The only people on the highway seems to be us and 18 wheel tractor trailer trucks. It seems like we pass weigh stations every 20 miles. For the second tonight Von says, "It sure is scary out here!" For the second time I ignore the comment. I finally break my 40 mile silence with, "Do you still have to go to the bathroom?" He tells me he still does. I pull into the rest stop. It's a pretty large one. There are 18 wheelers parked in one section and cars at rest in one section. I pull into a parking space. Von opens his door, and put one leg out. He realizes I'm not moving. He turns to me and asks, "You not coming?" I tell him I don't have to have to pee. He puts his other leg out, then sits there for a minute, with his back to me. Confused now, I ask him what's the problem. He then turns to me and says something I can't believe, "Can you come with me?...I'm scared" Now if any of you have forgotten, Von is 6'2, from the hood, and has been in and out of jail since he was 14. He looks like a thinner, less meatier Chris Brown. I mean in this picture he looks just like him.

I'm thinking to myself, Nigga is you serious? So I say,"Nigga is you serious?" he just nods his head, like a little kid. He really looks like a kid who is afraid of the dark, and the boogie man is going to get him. I just look at this 6'2 ball of fear and can't believe this. He got every bit of 6 or 7 inches, on me and he scared, and wants me for protection. Now grated I can take Von, he might have some street moves, but I think I can take him. I'm from the suburbs, he's the one from the hood. I mean since I've known him 3 of his friends have gotten shot, two dead, and he talking about he scared at a rest stop. I explain he's from the hood, North side in fact. Agitated now, he says,"Does this look like the hood? I can handle myself in the hood...I know the hood. This right here, is no hood! So is you coming or do I have to hold it?" Shaking my head in disbelief I escort my 6 foot scared man/child to the bathroom. When we get to the bathroom, I go stand near the urinals, and Von goes to the stall, in the empty bathroom. No matter who is at the urinals, Von never uses them. I learned this a while ago, he always goes to the stall, but leaves the door open. A minute or two later I hear this farting sounds from the stalls. Not any kinda of farting sounds but these cartoon over the top sounds, like a whoppy cushion or a artificially version. I then realize that me and Von are not alone. Von says, "Damn Y!" He thinks its me. More and more of the really crazy sounds are coming from a stall beside Von. He turns around when he finishes and yells, "Damn Young is you okay in their, sounds like you dying!" I run over to him, and snap at him to shut up, that isn't me making those sounds. He apologies for thinking it's me. He is about to walk out when I have to remind my 6 foot child to wash his hands, like I'm his daddy. Ironically I feel like his dad most of the time I am with him. A dad who had him, when I was 1 or 2. He makes a already awkward situation worse by saying, "I really thought it was you killing it up in here, I wonder what he ate. Probably something with beans." I was embarrassed for the man in the stall now, and walked out the bathroom. Von runs after me, "Don't leave me, by myself" He catches me outside, and I have to ask him, what does he really think is going to happen to him here. He explain, that some trucker might snatch him up, and he really looks nervous. This boy is a fool. I leave it alone, he follows me back to the car.

We take off for the rest of our road trip, when Von gets back on his cell phone. He is talking and talking for the next 10 miles. I have had enough of the nonsense he is talking about with the girl on the phone. I ask him, who is he talking to. He explains his baby mama. I ask him if we are going to see her in a little bit, why does he have to talk to her now. He then says, "Not that baby mama, my other baby mama!" He then continues to talk like her, like he hadn't just told me another news breaker. I tell him to get off the phone for a minute and he does.
I politely ask him, "What other baby mama?"
He says, "You know the one on the South side. I told you about her."
"I just found out about your first one, how would I know about a second one?"
"I swear I thought I told you."
"I think I would remember all of this, Von"
"My bad, yo"
"So how old is this one?"
"She isn't as old as the other one, she like a couple months old"
"So you have a daughter and a son?"
"Have I met this girl?
"Naw met her at party too"
"You just full of surprises tonight, couple hour road trip, two baby mamas, leaving town today...anymore surprises for me, a third baby mama?"
"Naw I think that's about it.

I get off of the S-Hill exit like I was instructed. She told us to make a right, when we get off that exit, to follow that road, and to call her when we get to the McDonald's. We are definitely in the country now. It feels like Mayberry, is just a small little town. I believe I actually see a general store. I explain to Von I need gas at this point, but the only gas station I see is closed and the pump doesn't take credit cards after hours. I keep driving, as soon as we entered the town, we are out on country road. We are passing farm after farm. I tell Von to call her and ask her what street are we looking for. She doesn't know street names, just the stop light with the McDonald's. We drive for another 15 minutes. The more we drive the more I am getting nervous.I'm running low on gas, and have no idea where I am at. My mother always says as long as you have gas, you are not lost. Well I was lost! Von is on the phone with her, and I can here her on the speaker phone just saying, drive to the McDonald's. She then puts her cousin on the phone, to help us find our way. She is no help another one who knows no street names. I explain there is no McDonald's here. He are literally passing cows and horses, and ever farm we pass is getting larger and larger. I'm getting frustrated. She says well stop and ask someone where the McDonald's is. This sets me off. I grab the phone from Von's hand and yell...well explain our situation.
"Look Bitch, we are two niggas, in a SUV, on a country road at 4:30 in the morning, where no cars are passing what looks to be NRA territory, and how do you expect us to go to some house and ask for direction? We will get our heads blown off. I don't have all night, I'm frustrated, tired, and running out of gas. Help us find our way now!"
That must have woken her up. She says, "Well are you sure you took the right exit of of 85?"
"Yes, I took t he S-Hill exit like your cousin instructed."
"Well then I don't know what the problem is...did you take the second S-Hill exit?"
"There is a second S-Hill exit?"
"I asked over and over what is the exact exit number I'm looking for and you and your cousin, both told us, just the S-Hill exit...Why didn't you tell us, there was two exits?"
"I dunno...I guess I forgot"
I kept thinking I'm surrounded my idiots. It's to late at night or early in the morning for this. I drive all the way back to 85 and take the second S-Hill exit. There is no distinguishes between them, no exit A or B...both just S-Hill exit. I find a gas station and fill up. We find that infamous McDonald's. She then tells us to take make a left, and to drive 10 minutes, and call her, we we get to the bridge in the city of Chase. As we are driving, Von brings to my attention another distance sign. It says Chase is 30 miles away. I loose it now. This just seems like the road trip from hell, that will never end. Once we get one place, then we have to drive another road. We are never getting there. First of all what's up with no one realizing time and distance. Since when does 30 miles take 10 minutes at a speed or 50 I believe it was. Some people really need to take some math class. In Train A leaves Boston at 80 miles an hour and Train B leaves Washington at 70 miles, how long will it take for them to meet in Oklahoma?Von the goes to explain he had no idea she lived this far, she mad it seem like it was a quick trip and would take us no time to find. How he didn't know, when she was visiting, how far she lived.

We drive to Chase. The whole time I'm thinking Von owes me big. I'm so mad all I keep thinking to myself, is when we leave his baby mama house, I pulling off on one of theses country road, and there was many to choose from, and I'm taking all of my frustration and anger out on him sexually anyway I want it. He better shut up and take it all! We get to the bridge in Chase, and I'm truly in unfamiliar territory. I can't even tell you what body of water we were at, but it was a big river or lake something. After that she took us right to her house.

We pull up to this double wide trailer. It was on a brick foundation, and was large. It was a double wide, looked more like a rancher. In this area, this isn't all that uncommon. I'm ready now. I'm ready to see this chick and Von's son. He calls her and tells her we are outside. She tells him to hold on she has to get dressed. Now I'm ticked off now. She knew we were coming, been giving us directions all night, passing the phone to a cousin, and now decided that before we come in, she needs to get dress?

We sit outside in my car for about 10 minutes. Von has gotten out and started playing basketball by himself, with a soccer ball they have laying out in the dirt drive way. After about another 5 or 7 minutes Von starts to get frustrated, and keeps calling inside to lets us in. She explains that if we come in, we have to be quite, people are sleeping. I want to just ring this girls neck, when I see her now. She opens the side door. This double wide has a front door, side door entrance from the washroom and sliding back door. Not your typical trailer. She opens the door, and there she is!

I really thought this was it, but I promise I will finish it later! Sorry if it's boring!


Opinionated Diva said...

Omg...I could just strangle you...that scary ass Von...his baby momma and that damn cousin.


Anonymous said...

You got tears running down my face. I was done at the sign saying Chase is 30 miles away. And there is more nonsense....

Anonymous said...

Too much of a cliff hanger for me. I'm kinda confused at this point at what to think. I feel sorry for dumb Von.

Corey Keith said...

Definately not boring...

PRIMO said...

COMEDY! You Better than Me! Cause I Woulda Acted A DAMN FOOL @ the S-Hill Exit! OMG! LMAO! I cant wait to read the Next Post!

ben blackman said...

Bring on the next part, a few more miles and you would have been in North Carolina.

FlyyGurl said...

ok so is Von just a booty call? Really? ::side-eye:: can we ever really have these without effing repercussions? PLUS? this chick is sounding white. WHATS REALLY GOOD?!AND, dont most men act like kids? im just sayin....

Jersey Brotha said...

Shiiiiiiiiiiiit...I can't wait to hear how you take out your frustrations on this dude lmao.

suiteSTL said...

DAMN YOU for having me lean all in my computer screen looking for the rest of the damn story. I'm all into this country road one night stand drama...LOL

~Feenix~ said...

Laughing my Muthafukkin ass off!!! you had me buss out laughing, LITERALLY, when you snatched the phone and started off "Bitch..." *dead* from laughter....

Blogger said...

Anyone else is interested in receiving a FREE MC DONALD'S GIFTCARD?