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Thursday, March 26, 2009

Basketball Jones- A DL Love Story Or A Slap In the DL Face?

Okay, so it's been a minute since I have done a Book of the Moment review. I started one, for Eric Jerome Dickey's Pleasure, but never finished the post. I have still been posting what my heavy hitter book is of the moment, for the past few months, on the right side of my blog, but just haven't felt like writing about them. It kinda started to feel a bit school book report-ish. However I was recently compelled to write about my latest Book of the Moment, Basketball Jones.

I just finished reading, Basketball Jones, and I felt the need to write about it. It was a quick read, actually. I mean compared to some of the other books I've read recently. Compared to Dickey's more recent books, which have been close to 500 pages, E. Lynn Harris' 250 pages seems like a good weekend book, plus it's smaller page sizes. I was excited, when going into this book. E. Lynn being one of my favorite authors and all. His earlier work, was some of the first glimpse for me, in the Down Low lifestyle, before it became a mainstream reference. I felt a connection, in his work. I was excited that he had return to one, of the subjects, that put his books on the map, the DL life, and it being in sports. However I was so unbelievably ANNOYED by this book, that I felt the need to write about this weak piece of writing.

I really don't know where to began. Let me give you a quick synopsis. The story is about AJ Richardson, who is in a secret relationship with NBA star Drayton Jones. Their 7 or so year relationship started back in college, when AJ was tutoring Dray, so that he could stay on the basketball team. Dray got an A or something, they were celebrating one night, and one thing led to another, years later, they are still knocking boots and calling it a relationship. Everything is all good, with their secret relationship, until Dray feels the pressure or need, to find a woman, because of one comment a teammate makes about AJ. The teammate feels that AJ is more than Drays Interior Decorator/Stylist, but goes to every home game the Atlanta Hawks have and most away games. To me a obvious fix, would be to call AJ, Dray's best friend from college and call it a day. However Dray decides to then, marry some white blond heiress, who wants him for his money; and yet that's still not where the story or the DL relationship with AJ goes a rye. No, things don't get bad until a blackmail scheme against Dray and AJ occurs. The blackmailer threatens to tell Drays father about his secret relationship. Okay, this story, for me, made no sense! Literally I kept saying to myself, "What the Hell?" However, I will get to that later.

For me it's not rare that, I don't find a connection, with a character. I mean I don't think you are going to understand every characters motives and actions, but it is rare, that I not find likability in one character, in a book. In this book I can honestly say, I didn't like not the first character in this book. Character dynamic means a lot to me, I like them to be round and multi dimensional. I just didn't like or understand anyone in this book. I didn't like how the DL man, Dray, was depicted in this story. First of all, you would think I understand Drayton, a DL man, who feels the need to hide his sexual attraction, because of this family. Believe it or not, he says it has nothing to do with the career, but because of his southern parents, and the fear of being disown. Okay, maybe there was that I did understand, but that's where my connection ends. First of all Dray is a selfish Asshole, and not a likable Asshole at that. And Yes, you can be a likable Asshole, example E.Lynn Harris' most famous DL character, Basil Henderson. I get it he is suppose to be this lovable Man-Child, but it really didn't come through, like I think it was suppose to. Dray controls the man he supposedly loves AJ, why?...because he can and because AJ allows him. AJ, the main character gives up his life, to be Drays kept man. Although AJ has multiple degrees, his life consist of a little charity work, decorating his homes, and Dray houses, and shopping for cloths, for Dray. Fear of being exposed, AJ isn't really allowed to have any friends, for fear of being found out about being gay. What does AJ do about this?...He finds the biggest Queen in Atlanta to be his best friend, Maurice. A man whose only goal in life is to dethrone the reigning Queens and Kings of Atlanta Black Gay Society. Another thing that just didn't make any sense. I get that AJ isn't DL, he is what you call, discreet. He goes to gay clubs and events, if you ask him he will tell you he is gay, but he doesn't bring it up, and he has never told his mother, even though he knows, that she knows about his sexuality. Personally I would think that, if you are in a DL relationship, with someone who is very concern about who your friends are and who becomes close to you, why become best friends with a flamboyant, catty, revengeful, in your face queen. This was not the first thing that didn't make sense to me, in the story though.

Okay believe it or not, but in the first chapter or two, I knew how this story was going to go down. From the part where AJ talks about his journals, the only thing that he has expressed in detail about his relationship with Dray. How when Dray uprooted AJ one day from Atlanta to New Orleans, because he got traded teams, and how he didn't feel safe with those journals being on the moving truck and being around the moving men. What does he do, leaves them in the hands on his society climbing best friend to mail to him, in New Orleans. Right after that, it was a wrap for me, on how this plot was going to go. I don't care about other people they wanted you to suspect. I knew what it was going to be all about. It felt so predictable. In fact, this story line felt so done already, and especially by E.Lynn. Now I'm not positive, it's been a while since I read his book before last, Say a little Prayer, but I felt like it was almost the same plot. I can't remember, but I'm sure it was a blackmail scheme, about sexuality, in that book too. I'll have to double check that later. That wasn't the big problem for me, nor the dumb characters and their actions. It was the DL relationship, that bothered me the most.

During this whole book I kept trying to understand if this was about love or about two men screwing. I understand a married man having sex with another man on the Down Low. It is usually about the physical and about the sex. However I can understand the Down Low life being more than just the sex, but love between two men, that somewhat seems forbidden. I haven't experiences that yet, myself; but I'm open to the possibilities down the road, of something more than just sex. I think we were suppose to think this was a love story, but I didn't get that. Maybe if E. Lynn wrote this book, where you looked at the story through the eyes of a different character, in alternating chapters, like he use to in his earlier books, I could see where Drayton was coming from. Now I understand that Dray kept AJ, in the finest of everything. He bought him townhouses, then mansions, luxury cars, credit cars, first class vacations, AJ's family was taken care of, however AJ just seemed to be at Dray beck in call for sex. I mean there would be times that AJ didn't here from Dray at days and all week long, then Dray would show up, they would have sex, and everything would be fine and dandy. Was that suppose to be love...I mean I understand that it was more than sex, because it lasted for as many years as it did, and even after Dray blew up as a professional basketball star, he stayed with AJ. However if this was a relationship, when Dray got married, and that wasn't the strange part for me, but why did AJ stay? I mean the first thought was...Why did Dray get married, if he loved AJ?...but then that question was replaced with...Why did AJ stay?

I can understand if Drayton, had a bunch of girlfriends to hide the fact that he is in love with a man, but to go as far as to get get married, didn't make sense. I know DL men get married all the time, but usually being with men is just about the sex. They are Bisexual or in a relationship with another Bisexual man, or they are trying to suppress their sexual desires, and trying to give up on men, or they just are Bi-curious and decided not to go down that road. They're many reasons, but they don't usually get married, and stay in a long term relationship with a Gay man, that started years prior, to him marrying. I didn't understand the choice either, a white blond woman, I mean talk about not having a specific type. However AJ was the real person I didn't understand. Through all of that. He stayed committed and monogamous to Drayton. He stayed faithful to Drayton, and refused to cheat on him, even though Drayton got married and was having sex with his wife! The whole book I kept thinking to myself...Get a backbone nigga! Through it all, the Dray getting married, Dray's wife getting pregnant and Dray not telling him, through some mishap at a hotel and AJ being pretty much kicked out of the room he shared with Dray and sent packing on a plane, through the blackmail, he stayed loyal to Drayton, because of their supposed great "Love". He drops whatever he is doing to be with Dray whenever, he calls.

The biggest thing I didn't understand was the ending. I knew it was going to be an all's well that ends well ending, when it came to the blackmail part. What I didn't get was the conclusion on the alleged relationship between Drayton and AJ. Why did AJ stay though all of that BS, through the whole book, without standing up for himself, and taking some reins in the relationship, but when him an Drayton finally have the chance to be together again, and it for the relationship, to be like it was before he got married, just the two of them...Why then does he break it off? Now AJ says its because he is tired of sharing Drayton with his wife, but that's really not a problem in the end. Why did this supposedly great love end, and why didn't Dray fight for him?

Now this book left me annoyed and pissed off. I had another author tell me once, "That, a sign of a good book, is when it leaves you in some sort of emotion...whether it is happy, content, sad, or angry." I think that was Bull then and I think it's Bull now. She only said that, because I didn't like her book, and I emailed her about it. Back in my late middle school/early high school years I would email an author in a second, if I found problems in their story. Some corresponded back, some didn't. Anyway, I just felt like Basketball Jones, was unjust for some reason.

This did leave me with things I wanted to talk about in later post, for another day. I felt this book had the Open/Discreet guy as the hero, and the DL man as the sad circumstance. All in all I felt like this book, was trying to teach people, that if you go down the road, of having a DL relationship, then their is no happy ending for you. In the end that message leaves me, Aggravated and Annoyed!!

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Okay I Admit, I've Been Sleeping On T-Pain!

Okay, I'm late on last months reviews and descriptions, and I really don't feel like going into detail, so I'm going to keep this short and sweet, for the Music of the Moment.

I have really been sleeping on T-Pain for his past few albums. I had sorts decided to not buy his work, because I felt he was to commercial, and just a passing fad. I thought his songs were catchy, and had decent beats, but I was never compelled to buy an album. however His recent songs like, "Can't Believe It," which was a Jam of the Moment once and "Chopped and Skrewed" feat. Luda, is what motivated me to buy his album this time. Since they were out of the regular album at the time I went to buy this album. I talked the guy at the counter into giving me the, "Three Ringz Limited Deluxe Edition" for the same price. Which I 'm happy about now, because one of my favorite songs,"Phantom" isn't on the regular album. It's a song about him stalking his ex girl, and him sabotaging her relationship. Twisted, but I love it. This album is filled with one song after the other that I love. My next would be "Reality Show" feat. Musiq Soulchild and Raheem Devaughn. however there is no song, that had me sing and a quoting lines, way after I have stopped playing the CD, like "Therapy" feat. Kanye West. I love this song hands down!!!!!! I can't help it but I like him no matter what his range is. I like the softer side of me, and the just singing he does on while talking about his kids motivating him on, "Keep Going". I like the anger and the rap he does on his dis song, "Karaoke" feat. DJ Khaled. I love all the collaborations on this album. I think the skits are hilarious, especially the ones with comedian, Eddie Griffin. This is a must have, and I think I might pick up his earlier albums now. I'm telling you all to go buy this album!!!

Okay for a second time in a row, Usher is one of my Jam's of the moment. Love this song. I feel like it's Versatile man's anthem...LOL Usher gets down on the low, and he is saying it right here in this song people!

My "Ah that's My Jam II" is Musiq Soulchild's "Ifuleave" feat. Mary J. Blige, is one of the best duets of the year so far. I love this song. I really think they should do more collaborations.

My "Throwback Album of the Moment" is a classic, TLC's "SexyCrazyCool". One of my favorites, because it really doesn't have to many songs, I'll skip. My favorites being of course the classic, "Creep" and "If I Was Your Girlfriend" The Prince remake is good, not like the original, but still sexy and amazing. Most of the album is a sexy vibe, like songs like "Red Light Special" You could definetely get down to this album. Maybe not sex, but definetely make out. I love T-Boz sultry voice with Chilli melody. I think all three of these girls meshed well here. A classic to me is an album where you don't skip many songs to get to the next. All in all I love this throwback.

I for some reason thought that my "Inspirational Album of the Moment" was going to be an extension on his work with his former group Winans Phase II. Which I loved. However, Marvin Winans Jr.'s album "Image of a Man" was not that. Not so much worship as more so a ballard esque album. To be completely honest, there wasn't really to many songs that jump out at you right off bat. However this is definetely not a gospel album that hinds its message behind heavy productions and beats. It's lead single, "You never let Me Down" is a good one. It's Not for Everybody, is what I will say. It may take you a minute to get into it, but I think there is a message for us all, though.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

The Call of the Booty

Okay, I don't have much experience when it comes to booty calls. For one reason or another it just didn't happen much...well they never followed through is what I should say. Most of the time when guys do the late night call, I either have my phone off, which is a big characteristic of me... don't feel like doing squat, they call me on a night I don't feel like getting dressed and do the things you do on the call of the booty... or I am sleep. I sleep hard, and I'm not the wake up from sleep to answer the phone type of person. When I'm out, I'm out. My mother says she hates to see the day I have a child, poor thing will be crying all night long, especially if I marry someone like me....hmmm...moving right along. Like I was saying, it usually never follows through. When I do wake up, even if I do want to hook up with the person, I generally won't call them back, because I figured they have moved on, from the moment, and so shall I. I think I have probably missed several potential booty calls, especially since DL men don't leave messages. It is some how a unspoken rule, you don't leave messages. You never know who listens to their voicemail, and who may use their phone. As for me, I don't do booty calls really. I don't know... it makes me feel weird and well vulnerable-ish. I guess I would rather go out and find new booty, than to call up old booty.

Now I have told you guys...I think... that this has been a slow winter. I mean, I'm not really meeting any new potentials. Going back into the fall actually. I didn't say it already, I'll say it again, it's like all the guys are in hibernation for the winter. It's been a slow season. I have all been with like two guys this winter, and they are the same ones from last year. I mean I did have a rendezvous with a flight attendant, that I met online, who had a layover, back in early February. I don't get what the hype is with men and flight attendants, in our culture. Besides the fact they go back to whatever state it is they came from after the sex, I don't know what's so special. Other than that one time, it has been just Von and Pickle. I haven't mentioned Pickle yet, but he is just some kat I met last November. We hooked up, that was it for last year, sometime in late January, I dropped by his place... still wasn't an actual call. It's been on since then. Let me say the name Pickle has no correlation with the anatomy, it really is a variation of his name that he goes by. Just wanted to throw that out.

Anyway for some reason, I have been better about receiving calls. I some how have been awake, and having my phone on, when receiving them. Now Von and Pickle, couldn't be more different. Von is 21, light skin, red bone, who lives with his grandparents, has no job and generally no money, ex jail house resident and rides the bus. Pickle is a 39 year old...teacher I think it is... dark brown/chocolate skin frat brotha, who owns his house, and has a car...Mustang. They only have two similarities. One that they are both tall...towering over me...when standing, that is. The second that they have this unbelievable power to call/text me, at the same time. Not for a booty call either, just a how you doing call, and lets meet up type of deals. I really don't see either on a Regular bases. They're weeks I don't see either one of them, and I'm cool with that. Some how though they will call or text me at the same time. I really realized it one day when I was at the gym, hadn't heard from either of them in a minute, but somehow they both managed to text me during my workout.

It really hasn't been a problem, until last Friday. I went to the gym Friday night. I'm not going to lie I don't mind spending my workout on a Friday night, the gym is less crowded. I enjoy that. Don't enjoy all the couples though. Friday seems to be date night for the couples at the gym. Anyway I got home around 10:30-ish that night. I layed around and watched a rerun of Baldwin Hills, I think it was. I usually take a shower immediately after I get home from the gym, but I chilled for a minute and channeled surfed. That's when I got a text from Pickle. Asking me, "Cum over, I want to see you." I got to be honest, that is such a turn off. I hate the way he spells come, cum like that. I find it really not cute or sexy. I called him back, and I agreed that I would call him back in 30 minutes. The workout had left me feeling a little energetic and well, in the mood. I went to go take a shower and head over. When I got out, my phone was making the beeping sounds, that I had missed some calls. I thought to myself, I told Pickle I was going to call him back in 30, why can't he follow instructions. However, it wasn't Pickle is was Von. I called him back. All he said was,"Yo Young, I'm in that Creepin mood." That's Von, for I want to hook up tonight. I instantly looked at the clock on the nightstand...11:30. I remind him Von it's almost midnight, isn't that cutting it close to your curfew. Yes!...Von has a curfew. Here's the deal...even though Von is 21 and been in and out of jail a few times since he was 14, he has to be in the house by midnight. Here is how it works. He can stay out past midnight if he wants, but he can't get in, until morning. His grandfather locks up the house like a fort at midnight. He tells me, "Let me worry about that, you coming?" I try to buy myself more time and tell him let me call him back in 30. Who shall I go see?

I get dressed anyway, while trying to figure out, which booty call to respond to. I had never been in that delima. At first I'm think this is a sexy feeling, having two dudes both wanting me at the same time, wanting me to come over and have a good time. I kept thinking who do I want to see more. Pickle is good at what he does, but then he doesn't do the things Von does. Von does things Pickle doesn't do, but isn't as passionate and isn't as on point as Pickle. For a moment I think why not see both of them tonight. Then I think that's kind of grimy. I debate, well I would be the only one who knows how slutty it is, so what's the harm. Then I think to myself, that's one person too many. I get in my car, still unsure who it is I want to see. As I drive I can't help but think this wouldn't be a problem, if either one of them had bothered to call me earlier in the evening. Then I think well it is Friday, why didn't either one of the call and set and make a plan for a hookup. Call me before 8 to make a hookup time. It's like neither one of them, thought I had anything better to do than to wait for them to call. I started to get a little irritated. I then decide, that I will meet up with both, just not hook up with both. Who will be what...undetermined as of yet.

I go to Pickle first, because he lives closer to me. I call him, and ask him, why did he wait until after 11:00 to call me, like I had nothing better to do, but to come over and satisfy an urge for him. He gets all defense, "Look if you don't want to see me, fine...I'm not going to sweat it...I just thought it had been a minute since I saw you. Don't think I'm just sitting here either." This makes me laugh. I tell him to hangup and open the door, I'm in his driveway. He answers the door in nothing but a t-shirt, his draws and a Corona in his hand, not for my benefit either, I'm sure he has been like that since he got home from work. That's the other difference between Pickle and Von. Von has a stomach you can eat off of, Pickle although he is not fat, he's a lean man, but he looks like he is in his second trimester. I think it is due to the Coronas. I don't think there has been a time, I have been to his house that he didn't have a Corona open, and a new open by the time I left. He puts them down, let me tell you.

As soon as I get inside, I make an early escape plan. I tell him I'm suppose to meet up with some friends later on, and can't stay to long for too long. He is on his laptop in the living room, no television on, no lights...just the glow of the monitor and music from his computer. He goes back to doing what he was doing when I got there, downloading music. We talk for a little while. Then he goes back to the laptop, clicking a way. For a while, he is so into the downloading and clicking of the mouse, that he acts like I'm not there. He quizzes me on some music..."Ever heard this"..."Know them?"..."and what about this artist" a lot of them I did know, or the song at least. Then he started on the Jamaican and Dance hall music...that I didn't know. He started talking about his 3,000 plus songs he had downloaded, and the program he uses. A hour later and he is still talking about it and downloading. I kept looking at the clock and thinking, OMG, did he invite me over just to watch him download music. I don't want to be like are we going to do anything already or what. I just sit there quietly. It's official Von is the one I'm hooking up with tonight. I told him in the car I would call him, when I get to his house.

I start with the I better be going soon talk, because I 'is read-ay to go'. I was at this point bored out of my mind. He acts like he doesn't hear me, and starts talking about the downloading program again. How he doesn't download movies or porn, because it could have viruses in them. I ask has he ever at least tried the porn, and he replies no. I then take his computer and use the program he has and try to download porn. Now I'm not a porn person, I'm really not. I rarely watch it, not since my high school years. Well it was suddenly like my high school years, because all the porn it brought up, I had downloaded at one time or another, in high school. He couldn't believe it. I had seen like 11 of the 15 he started to download. I told him how I don't watch porn now, but I do watch Xtube online, sometimes. He had never heard of it. I brought the site up. Finally this was starting to get interesting. I was so busy getting into the website and looking around... I hadn't even noticed him nibbling on my neck and feeling on me. I kept slapping his hands away. I'm not really a touchy feely type of person. I mean not in the ways he was touching. I guess he got frustrated with me getting all into the site, because he takes the laptop out my lap and sits it on the coffee table. He then pulls me on top of him. I kept thinking, I can't do this I have already made up my mine, its Von tonight. Pickle took to long. I keep pulling away, he then flips me on my back. He makes where I can stop pulling away from him. I give in then. 45 minutes later or so, it was a wrap.

I get redressed and leave. Here's the thing. Technically I'm not sure if it would really be grimy if I still went and swooped up Von. Here's the thing, Me and Pickle...yes it is intense, hot and heavy...but...its...uh not really any kind of sex. It's a lot of foreplay, grinding, and touching, caressing, and all of what that entails, while naked, but its not...well nevermind. I get in my car and I call Von. For some reason I feel so guilty for leaving him hanging for so long. it's now like 2:30-ish. He sounds so groggy on the phone, when he answers. The guilty comes when he starts to apologies for falling asleep. He thinks I'm outside of his house. I tell him, that something came up, and that I will catch him some other time. He says, "What about tomorrow night?" I like the thought of that, a plan. I tell him it's on.

I don't think Booty Calls are really my bag. For some reason, I don't like the thought behind it, because it feels like there was no thought. I don't know I guess
I wasn't missing out on much all of this time.

Monday, March 16, 2009

Chris Brown is No Ike Turner!!

(First let me say don't forget to look down below at EnVOGUE Cover, I'm proud of the Divas!)
Now does anyone think there is a chance Rihanna might be a crazy biotch?..well too?

Well, I think she is too...there I said it.

Okay, before I go any further let me say, that I do not think Chris Brown is Innocent, by no means. I do not condone anyone beating up someone else. I think that domestic abuse is very real and very serious. Whether it be physical, mental, or sexual. In that being said I think Chris Brown did beat Rihanna up. I do believe that. However I don't believe he was the only one at fault for this tragic situation.

I was going to stay out of this debate and discussion, but after a month of hearing this story 24/7, a negro has been broken, and I can't take no more. I got to say my peace on this. I was in the grocery store the other week, and on every magazine in the checkout line, there was at least one picture of Rihanna and/or Chris Brown on the cover of it. All with some crazy headline and caption..."Rihanna's Friends fear she won't leave"..."Friends fear her death"..."Oprah's Dangerous Warning"...etc. and so on. It doesn't end there its on every news outlet at one time or another. I love CNN, that's my news channel of choice. First of all they have more than one black anchor, a few actually and they do a good coverage on things. They have good programing, that I enjoy, like the Black in America series they did last year, and look out for Black in America II, in July I think it is...not sure though. It's on all the news channels Fox and MSNBC, but its on all the time on me beloved CNN. I know Anderson Cooper, with his silver fox self is tired of talking about it. Larry King has gotten so tired of the mess, he took a week vacation and has Joy Behar taking his place to talk about it, and with Robin Givens.

This tragic situation has brought out every D-List celebrity and their momma talking about how they were in an abusive relationship. You know Robin had to take the time, to rehash her domestic abusive relationship, with crazy ass Mike Tyson. I'm going to get back to that mess in a minute. In all of this talking about Chris and Rhianna, there seems to be one common element...Everyone thinks Chris Brown is some Monster, and you know what...I DO NOT.

I do not think Chris Brown is the monster everyone is painting him out to be. I just don't. Let me clear this up... this has nothing to do with me being a fan. I'm not that big of a fan in fact. I think he's talented...I think he has a couple hot songs... I enjoyed his first album, for what it was. However ,I thought his last album had two songs on it that I liked, "Kiss Kiss" and "Take You Down"... I think I have actually listened to the second album, "Forever" all of 5 times maybe. You see that it was never on my "Album of Heavy Rotation" of the month ever. I think like Ne-yo and Keshia Cole his music is getting to commercial and watered down from their first album, but that's another subject. So my opinion has nothing to do with me loving his music. Yes, Chris Brown is from Virginia, and even more here, they are talking about this. He in fact lives from what I hear 25 or so minutes away from me. I think he is getting a poor and biased treatment by everyone. Everybody is using the "allegedly" to save their ass, but everybody is Crucifying him, like he has been found guilty already.

I think that Chris Brown is not the only one with a temper. I think that hot island blooded Rhianna has one too, and it got the best of her that unfaithful night y'all, there I said it again. I think she attacked him first, I ain't afraid to say it. She attacked him first and he beat her ass. That's what I think. Look everybody knows, that people from Barbados, and Trinidad, and Jamaica, and the Caribbean, are hot tempered. Before this incident, I have heard this, they will fight in a minute. They know how to part-tey, but they will fight you in a second. They will party, fight you, then party with you again. I think she went of on him, in her accent too, like Ricky Ricardo. Y'all know how when he got upset, he forget English, and went straight for the Spanish. I bet she was fighting him and speaking in a Barbadian?... tongue.

I knew some people from Trinidad. They had a party in fact a huge one. Rented out a club, for their birthday. They invited a person who they had beat up at another, after she found out, she was cheating with her man. The other woman brought her mother and friends to party at the women who beat her up birthday party, where the birthday girl had her husband at her side. They had put their differences aside to party.

Everybody keeps saying, even if she did, he shouldn't hit her back or to the length he did. I agree, but I think she started it. I find that people keep jumping over the subject that she Might have started this. They keep saying, well she is the female, and he is the male. Alright I get that theory. He's the guy and she's the girl, so he by nature built bigger and stronger than her, so it is unfair for him to fight her. Well, lets say someone didn't take it as far as Chris did...What does a man do, if a woman attacks him, first?

Okay let me tell y'all about this old situation in my family. Now I heard this from one cousin about another cousin. I have this cousin, "R" who was once in a relationship with this girl. They were high school sweethearts, that kept it going in college. I thought they were a good looking couple. I loved her, she thought I was cute and adorable, and well I loved her for loving that. Anyway I was kinda upset when they broke up. Years after they broke up, I was talking to one of my cousin, and for some reason the ex girlfriend of "R" name came up. The cousin went on to tell me, they didn't like the ex to much, especially the way she use to hit on "R". Now I thought this was ridiculous when I heard it. First of all "R" is 6'2 and a former athlete and no punk, and his girl was like 5'5 and very...uh girlie and feminine, so I didn't see this at all. The cousin went on to tell me, that they saw it with their own eyes, the ex attacking "R" and him doing nothing, when ever she would slap him and hit him, when she got upset. He would get mad to but just leave. Now when my mother heard this, she didn't blink an eye. See our family and the ex girlfriends family went back years and knew each other quite well. My mother went on to tell that her family was known for having tempers, she went on to tell all who was rumored to be hot tempered, even the girl's grandmother. In "R" eyes, you never hit a girl no matter what they are doing. He is now married with kids, and he is now teaching his son the same thing. If his sister hits him, just let it go, no matter what never hit her back. I see a problem though, why are girls not taught to hit boys?

Now in my opinion no by should hit, but if someone hits me and they are female, I give them one, but like hell I'm giving them two, before I grab a shoulder and shake them a bit, with a "Heifer is you crazy, you best leave me alone!" I don't believe in hitting, but I believe in shaking...shake some sense back in them! Now some don't agree with either my cousin or me, they would hit back, and in some cases like a dude. Chris Brown might just be that guy.

Now Chris Brown is from Tappahannock, Virginia. When he sings, that he is just a country boy from Tappahannock, he is not lying. This is Kountry with a K. It's a town that is off of a river and has ship yards and whatnot, so there is a lot of sea food with your chitin's going on there. The nearest malls are like 45 mins away. The biggest thing they got is Walmart. Everybody in town knows that when you see the Lamborghini, at Walmart, then Chris is in town visiting, because that's the teen hangout. I know how sad and depressing. I was like "Good Lawd" when I visited. I have been to Tappahannock like once or twice in my life. Once since Chris Brown blew up. My silly tail the whole time I was there would ask, "Do you know Chris Brown?" Sho'nuff everybody had some sort of relations to him... "He's my son's mother second cousin"..."He's my daughter's friends ex boyfriends play god brother"...some crazy like that every "The boy is silly, goofy, crazy, and down right immature"...that's the description of him from most. Now if y'all are ever in Tappahannock, go to the Pizza Hut, there isn't but one in that town, so you can't miss it. The girl on the register is Chris Brown's best friend ex-girlfriend. She says he was always silly and goofy, and always trying to show some girl his dance moves and sing, which they never wanted to hear. He use to copy her homework all the time. I just don't believe this is the boy...whose mother he watched get beat and hated it...being a monster.

Now Robin Givens is taking this opportunity, to talk once again about her abusive relationship with Mike Tyson and connection with that and Chris Brown and Robin Rihanna Fenty, coincidence I think not. Does anyone think Robin Givens was innocent in that mess she calls a marriage? I don't think so. We all knew she married that fool, for his money. She was not marring him for no love or for a lifetime. I think she use to push him. I can see it now, her saying stuff under her breathe like you, "Dumb Son a Bitch"..."Stupid Jack Ass," after he said something that was probably truly stupid..."You no dick stroking, can't lay it down in the bedroom Bastard!" Now am I alone on thinking that Mike looks like he can't lay it down in the Bedroom or what. I mean I'm sure he can eat some punany, but he can't stroke it. y'all know it. Now we know he probably wasn't swift enough to have a come back for those things, so he did what he knew best, which was fighting. That's all he knew how to do. I think she pushed his buttons, because she knew paid day was coming, from that stupid tattoo faced fool. Perfect evidence to get a nice settlement for what less than a year of marriage. I think it something like 10 million, but I could be wrong. Now in the Chris Brown and Rhianna situation, I don't think she pushed it on purpose, but I think she started it.

CNN is also having Nicole Brown Simpson sister, talking about the similarities of Chris Brown and OJ Simpson. I'm like are you serious. Are they really comparing Chris Brown to OJ Simpson. I just don't see it. Just like I don't see him as an Ike Turner. When I look at Chris Brown I just don't see it, it might be there, but I don't feel it. I can see it in DMX perhaps...uh Busta Rhymes maybe...y'all think Akon could be. I'm just not feeling that. A psychologist, said that he Does think we have a case of domestic abuse, but a case of overly aggression. I agree. I don't think this has been an on going abusive relationship. I think this is passion, anger, and alcohol gone to far.

Now no matter how much you can't stand something, maybe it's still in you...I don't know. Maybe no matter how much he hated his step father for abusing his mother, it might still be in him. I truly can't say, but he just doesn't strike me as one, or I don't see it happening again!

Here's YB&DL's Theory.
I think that Chris and Rihanna, had both been drinking. Chris Brown might be 19 but he is hot and in the industry, and who is telling him "No, you are underage"...nobody. They are riding back to the hotel, when Chris gets tyhe three page text. Now I'm sure Chris get booty, tail, pussy, whatever you want to call it thrown at him all the time. Now I come from a coochie family....everyone in my family calls it coochie. I personally call it Punany. I like that, my cousin thinks it sounds dirty. Some says it means "Sweet Pussy" and some say it means "Rotten Pussy" either way I like the sound. I worked with a girl who use to call her "Miss Kitty" or her "Kitty"...she was 27. She called it "Cat" for women over 40. She would say to others stuff like,"You going home to get your "Cat" stroked?...I kid you not. She use to scare me though, she had a plastic penis on her key chain, she would flick her tongue at me, and pur like she was freakin Eartha Kit or something. I swore I use to think she had a Mountain Lion or Jaguar in her panties instead of a Kitty. Anyway back to what I was saying...whatever you call it he has it thrown at him, and probably a couple of "Dogs" too. However there was something different about this text.

Now they say it was sent to him by his manager, Tina Davis. I very much believe that could be true. I believe this is the women who turned him out, may be even the one who took his V-card. I bet that it was her phone that he was sending those naked picture of himself, that got leaked a couple years ago. It makes sense now. Now I'm sure some of you are thinking why would he be still messing with a 40 year old woman, when he has a 21 year old hot thing like Rihanna. Well I am seeing a 21 year person myself, who is hot as hell. I have been with men in there 40s, they are experiences, and can run circles around the 21 year older. Tina Davis is what you call, Seasoned. She is 40, in a women's sexual prime. Chris is 19, unfortunately they say it's a man's prime, I dispute that. She is 40 and probably knows how to please and get pleased. She has been his manager for a while, I'm sure they have a real intimate relation, they Rhianna can't stand.

So they are in the car and she goes off on him. Attacks him, wants to see the text, while he is driving. Now someone mentioned how in like December or January on the "Bold and the Beautiful"... I know what you are thinking. Anyway the character Rick is fighting with a girl who is in the passenger seat. She wants him to pull over, and he doesn't. So she grabs the wheel. They are fighting, and they loose control. I think Rihanna was fighting for him to stop too. I think that's when Chris's punches started. Rumors are that he is taking steroids. Not sure if that's true or not. He is looking mighty beefier lately. I don't understand why he would be taking steroids, it's not like he is running yards or hitting home runs for a living, he is singing and dancing. If he is taking steroids, it could be and explanation for having a short temper. Doesn't make it right, but could be a cause. Anyway They stopped the car, and that's when she grabbed the keys, and throws them out the car. That's when he pulls her out the car, and the attack increased. She probably fought back, but he got the best of her. He looks for the keys and can't find them. He beats her some more. The rest is Entertainment history.

Now I don't like P. Diddy, can't stand the negro. We he talks he makes me cringe. I think his music is tired, and I truly miss the days when he was hot Puffy of one of the hottest I wish he would give it all a rest and stick to the clothes. I love me Sean John though, in all honesty, a good 80% of my closet is Sean John. I don't care what anyone says I love it from the high end line to the everyday wear. Anyway everyone has been on his back, for supposedly getting Chris and Rihanna back together and working it out. Diddy was on Ellen DeGeneres, talking about it, and as much as she tries to keep a light and sweet demeanour, she was coming down on him. He said something that made so much sense. Nobody was in that car, but Chris Brown and Rhianna and don't nobody knows what went on but them two.

Like everybody else this is my theory, I don't know what went on. God forgive me if she was completely innocent. I just feel that she is hiding something as well, about that night. I just am tired of the unfair treatment he is getting before his day in court. I feel he needs help and support as well.

That's why until his court date I will keep the comment signature of YB&DL Has Got Chris Brown's Back.

In other Music news...EnVogue is back!!!

This is the cover of this week Jet Magazine with EnVogue on the cover. They look amazing for 40 something women. It looks like they have been drinking some of the Stacey Dash water for real. Whoever said black don't crack, Ain't never LIED! All of them look great, even Maxine. I saw her a couple years ago in a magazine and she looked rough as hell. She had blond braids, and her stomach looked so bloated, like she was 5 months pregnant, but she looks great on the cover. She always did rock the short do, but it compliments her short stature, and big boobs. Look at them up high and ready to knock you out, like the old days. Who who guess that Cindy has had 4 kids and one of them is 16 or 17. Now they all could be thanking this do to retouching and spanx, but I don't care, they still look good and the Funky Divas are back!

Now Let me let you guys on a little secret EnVogue, was the start of yours truly Cd collection today. Yep, "The Funky Divas" album was my first CD. Now even though my father was the R&B guy and my mom was the Gospel person and only bought gospel,I remember her being the one who I asked to buy it, and she bought it for me. I think we were in Kmart to be exact. I had to be about 7 or 8 I think. Anyway I thought the "Giving Him Something He Can Feel" video was the sexiest and naughtiest thing I had ever seen, at the time. So thank them for the collection I had today.

This is them on Jet like in '91 I believe, sorry the cover is gainy, the best one I could find online. In my opinion they look better now than then. Look at them with the oversized hats and big men's jackets from the early 90s. They truly haven't aged a bit.

In the Jet article, Dawn admits that she was the cause for the breakup when she left,'97. She stays how she has a stigma in the industry as being difficult and a bitch, but that she wears that stigma proudly, because there is no way she is going to let people get over her anymore. We she left the group it was because the record was treating them unfairly, they had sold 8 million albums for them and they were getting paid peanuts, and barely making it by back then. She left at the height of their biggest hit, "Don't Let Go(Love)." The other girls were afraid to fight, they weren't a unite back then, but they are now!

I just hope Dawn makes it work now, this is her last shot. She messed it up with Lucy Pearl. This is her last shot, because the solo thing just isn't going to happen. Does anyone remember her solo effort and her song "Jealousy" I bet you don't. We need a hot girl group now. We don't have any at all. I mean Danity Kane is gone, and I didn't like them no way, when they were around. Cherish...yeah right. We need EnVogue, all of them can sing too. They look just as good as anyone in Danity Kane if not better. WELCOME BACK DIVAS!!!

This is them in the early 90s.

This is them Today!
They have recreated their picture from the early 90s, still flawless.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Part II of Okay, So I Might Kinda Sorta Be A Stalker

So your boy is back. After all my computer trouble, I'm now with a new monitor, couple inches bigger, than my last.I had to buy a new one. I have to send off my old one back to the manufacturer since it's still in warranty, it is after all only a year and half old. In the end I'm going to do the double monitor thing, and have them both hooked up. Anyway, I can finish the story of the night I reunited with Von. Like I said in the last post, I just don't feel comfortable writing about the men-es, when I'm not in the comforts of my own home... and this little info is for Southern Gal, I'm currently writing in some gray draws today, because...well I'm in a gray mood today. Thought you would appreciate that. By the way you don't know me...I don't have to have sex with everybody!

Anyway so where I left off me and Von had just jumped into my car. He then asks me, "So are you done, with your business stuff?" I smile and tell him, "Yeah, I'm done." He tells me that he was out running errands for his Grandmother. He had been in the house, most of the day, and he had just came out not to long before he ran into me. He told me he could always do that stuff later, no rush. However, he needed to go to the store for her, so I offer to take him there. As I'm driving we catch up on things. I ask him "So where you been hiding? I haven't got a call from you in a minute." I mean I know it was my fault also that I didn't save his number, but you know I had to deflect that mistake off of me. He suddenly gets quite and looks at me kinda guilty. He the says "Okay, don't get mad at me Y, but I kinda got locked back up." However I did get mad, I had been with Von to several places he had applied for a job, last summer, and which all did not reply back, because he had more than a couple charges on his record. Granted most of those charges were prior to him being 18, I think he had one or two post 18. He goes on "It wasn't my fault, though" I'm like whose fault was it then. He goes on to tell me that he was riding with a friend of his, from around the way. They were in the next county over. They got pulled over. His friend got locked up for something and he got locked up, because he had some old failed to appear in court from a couple years ago. He says "I had totally forgot about that, it had been so long." Curious as to when this all went down. The last time I had seen Von was in the end of August maybe September, might have been Labor Day weekend in fact. He tells me it went down sometime early September, when the phone calls stop. "I just got out, right before Christmas." Right around the time he kept crossing mind. They had given him 90 days or something. I shake my head, because I wonder how many more times he will get locked up before he really learns. I'll give it that he tries, but damn.

I decide to change the subject. I tell him how he looks taller for some reason. He laughs. He says that's what everybody has been telling him since he got out. He tells me that he thiks he grew a inch or two while locked up, now he is about 6'2 or something. He also mentioned how he gained 20 puonds for sure. He looks good, it went in all the right places. I ask him how his Uncle was doing. I knew that his Uncle was having more surgery, from last summer. I had spent quite some time with Von and his uncle last summer. His Uncle had visited from out of state around the time me a Von was hooking up, and a lot of times his Uncle would tag along. Although most of those times I was aggravated with the uninvited company, he was cool, and sometimes it would be me and him talking more in the car, and Von was most of the time left out the conversations. Last time I saw him he was leaving to go back home to have more surgeries. Von says, "He's good, he asks about you and whatnot." That puts a smile on my face. I respond, "What did you say?" Von responds casually, "I told him you was locked up." I was instantly pissed off now. I'm like why did he tell him that lie. Von goes on to explain that because his Uncle was sick, he didn't what to tell him that the reason we hadn't spoke or he hadn't seen me, was because he was locked up, he didn't want him getting upset, so he told him that I was locked up. Even though I understand the thought behind it, I still thought it was stupid. First his uncle is no stranger to jail he was locked up for like 10 or 15 years, himself. I explain back to Von that he was locked up for three months, did he really think his uncle didn't know he was locked up. Von insist he doesn't know. I tell Von, "You really need to stop lying, because you are not good at it." He has the nerve to look insulted. "Why...You lie. Why can't I?" I respond that I tell nice lies, and good ones. He tells reckless and unnecessary lies.

Right now I'm going to have a mid post Flashback story. The setting is last August. Me, Von and Uncle where coming or going somewhere... I don't remember. It was in the evening though. Uncle is in the passenger seat and Von was in the back behind me. I don't remember what we were talking about, but all out the blue Uncle says, "So Young, Von told me all about the little secret you are holding." I look in the rear view mirror, for answers and support. He is looking out the window as if he hasn't heard what his uncle just said. Instantly I'm filled with mixed emotion...nervousness and anger. Von had no right to say boo about anything about me. Especially since he was holding the same secret. I remain calm though.
I respond "What do you mean?" He says, "Von told me all about your sexual preference!" I know I'm turning red now..I can literally feel the turning. I'm thinking to myself it's on now nigga. As I'm looking at Von through the rear view mirror, still not acknowledging the conversation going on. I respond "Von, had no place telling my business."
Uncle responds, "You have nothing to be ashamed about, we have all been there"
Shocked at what I'm hearing, I say "We have?"
"Yeah, who hasn't dabbled down that road once or twice?
"You have?" I mean I knew he had been locked up for a decade, it wasn't a complete surprise, but I was still shocked he was being vocal about it.
He responds, "Yeah!"
"Well, I don't think every man has."
"If they haven't they have thought it."
"You really think so?"
"Oh, yeah... when the lights go out, it's all the same."
Still in complete awe at this conversation's direction. I say "I don't know I think there is some big differences."
He gives me this sly laugh. Then he says, "Don't get me wrong there are some differences... but booty is booty however way you look at it." I'm thinking to myself, this is truly a different side of Uncle, I have never seen.
"If you say so," is all I can muster out, because I'm truly speechless. It is actually hard to find words at this moment.
Uncle responds, "... but that is in my younger years though, I got to stick to my sistas now. I'm going to save all the white girls to you Young." If confusion and enlightened can happen at the same time. That was the moment it did. I say, "So Von told you I like white women, huh?" Uncle laughs and says, "Not like, but loves white women...can't get enough of them." I look once again at Von in the rear view mirror, his butt is still looking out the window, but I see him looking out the corner of his eye at me through the mirror. He knows that it's on, when we get alone.

Back to the originally schedule post. "This is just like white girl lie, Von." For me and Von, that is like the Rachel and Ross' "We were on a break" debate from "Friends". Von snaps back,"Hey Y, I still think that was a good one." I respond back with, "No, it was stupid, and pointless like me being locked up is." We get quite, nobody says anything, let what was said rest for a minute. Curious as to something, I break the silence when I ask him what exactly was I supposedly locked up for. He responds with a "Gun charge." I nod my head and say "Of course, what else would I be locked up for." The sarcasm completely going over his head Von says, "...that's what I'm saying and do know Uncle going to act like he don't believe me...he all like 'not young, I don't believe that...a gun charge, nigga you crazy'" I start to laugh, because I'm not alone in thinking that was a stupid tale. I say, "Yeah Von I can believe him not believing I was locked up for gun possession."
He not getting why nobody believes that. I say, "... because...uh... he has met me!" That man new my ass wasn't like his normal friends from the hood. "You need to stop lying on me, because you are not good at it, when it comes to me. I tell nice lies. You tell lies that has me being a white women lovin' illegal gun toting felon!"

We both are quite again. He mumbles loudly and says in a pouting way, "I still say the white girl thing was good." I can't help but laugh. I say something I have never said to a guy before, but it is some from he heart stuff I have to say. "You know what, Von?...I missed you." He looks over at me, and gives me a half smile. He responds, "You know what?... I missed you too, Y." I can feel it, he really means it too. I want him now. I ask him can we finish his Grandmother's errands later,There are things I rather do instead. That includes us both being naked. He then slightly hurts my feels with his hesitation. He says, "I don't know,I did want to finish up picking up those things, before the store closes." Trying not to show my bruised ego, I'm like alright then. I say, "I just wanted you, as soon as possible and do that thing you like so much." His face lights up like it's Christmas and he says, "The thing I like?...You mean it?" The bait worked. I say slyly, "Don't I always mean it?" He thinking, I can see it in his eyes. Von says, "Fuck the errands lets go!" Nothing more needed to be said.

So Southern Gal was right we did hook up. I can't help it...I'm so weak!

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Man Down!!!

It's been a trying week..well 2 weeks actually. It's truly one thing or another. I really was on a mindset to be a better blogger for real. This time it's not my fault. I know I was suppose to write the conclusion to what happen that night with me a Von, but well my monitor on my computer blew out on me, my television, and lastly my baby, my SUV... that had me like Florida Evans...Damn...Damn...DAMN!

First let me talk about my computer. It's actually not that old, less than two years. I don't think that's old enough for my monitor to be going out on me. It has been in the shop for a week and a half I got it out Saturday, and after a $100 dollars and a monologue about how hard Gateway products are to work still has yet to come on. You know your boy sometimes has a temper, so after a good tongue lashing on their voicemail Saturday, since they had close by the time I got it home. Going to talk down to me about having a Gateway, then not even have fix it, you know I was pissed. I was still without my source to stay in touch with the blog world. Yes, I have made a few comments on some peoples blog. I just feel comfortable blogging at home. So my plan was to take it back to the shop on Monday, but as most of you know, the east coast was hit hard, with the snow, even southern east. It would have been fine with me, if I had my Computer. I'm really on that what did people do, without their electronic devices. I mean their are times I truly don't touch my computer, but now that I'm without it I miss it. It's hard and tedious to read blogs from my phone. Its at this time I wish I had bought the things I wanted. I wish I had got a blackberry when I got my new phone...I wish I had bought the new laptop this Christmas, like I wanted. Listen to other people. "Why Young do you need a laptop, you have three desktops, just a waste of money." My mother even offer to by me one for Christmas. I turned her down for other presents. Bad move there. One computer was old as the hills like dog years old, I donated that last summer to a church thrift shop, the other one is kinda old too, but still works well, its just that when I bought my newer computer a year and half ago, I sorta put my old one out to pasture. I couldn't even hook my old monitor to my new computer. Anyway like I was saying I was planning on taking it back to the shop on Monday, but we had the big snow storm on Sunday, and I went to the shop on Monday they had a sign up..."Closed due to the storm of the century"...Wimps. How are you an electronics shop with 6 vans and suvs, because they do a lot of home entertainment installing, and scared of a little snow. I made it to your shop, Monday morning. You made it out to put up that stupid sign, they could have stayed open. I think we have been a little pampered for a few years, and forgot what a really good snow is. Yes 8 and half inches is a nice amount, but I have seen worse. A few days of closed does not equal snow storm of the century. Several years ago when I was in middle school I think, we were closed for a week and a half, that is a truly snow storm, when the news always refer to it ever hour and ever broadcast time as more updates on the "Blizzard '98 or whatever that my friend is a snow storm. We have been spoiled. I took it back today and they had the nerve to ask me why was I upset... really, you don't get it? I just left them, and they still don't know, and don't know when I will get it back. They got until Thursday and your boy is leaving the old one their and getting a new one.

Before that my television went out. Actually the same symptoms my computer had. This Jamaican electronics guy came out and fixed it for $250. To heavy to be carry to some shop.Apparently whatever was wrong happens a lot to LCDs. None of this even remotely compares to what happen to my baby, my car.

It's funny the day I took my monitor to the shop, was the day my baby just...well had a stroke...I guess you could say. I was leaving the electronics repair shop, and bam, my car was having convulsions like movements. Like it wanted to go without the transmission. I quickly took it to a shop, that I go to often, which was 10 mins a way. I'm a good customer, my mom is too. They checked it out right away. Then told me, absolutely don't drive it anymore. What was going on was it was going in and out of 4 wheel drive by itself. They told me to have it towed to the dealer. Newer cars with computer systems are best to be dealt with by the dealer. I was so confused as to why and how this started still no lights was coming on, nothing telling me that something was wrong. I hate going to the dealer, but I had it towed their. Long story short, the system that controls the 4 wheel drive went bad, and had to be replaced, $3,000 dollars people. Apparently happens due to driving it constantly in 4wheel drive mode. I have never had it in 4 wheel drive mode since I had it for 2 years. We just got our first good snow in years this past Sunday. It's a 2004, so they suggested the first owner must have. I thought that was a stupid ass answer. I was like so it took two years for the repercussions of a former owner driving it in the wrong mode to show up now. I wanted another reason. So that hit my savings hard people. I was real depress when I paid them, They had it fixed in two days.

I kept thinking why is all of this happening all at once. Thinking to myself why me. I quickly put in a old Hezekiah Walker Cd, and quickly I knew, I needed to stop with this why my thinking. So many people have it a lot worse than I do. Some people lives are falling apart around them, foreclosure, jobs lost, etc. God doesn't put anything on us, we can not bare. He may deliver you from burdens, but that doesn't mean their won't be any. It may get worse, this may only be a test. I just kept thinking. I should feel blessed that I had it to fix these things. Anyway I have rambled on enough about things. This is officially my first post not from my computer. From my schools library. It's weird. I'm usually in my draws or some lounging wear, when writing. It's strange being fulling clothed and writing. However, y'all will not get a conclusion about Von until I have my computer back...Sorry! Peace...I'm out!