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Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Part II of Okay, So I Might Kinda Sorta Be A Stalker



So your boy is back. After all my computer trouble, I'm now with a new monitor, couple inches bigger, than my last.I had to buy a new one. I have to send off my old one back to the manufacturer since it's still in warranty, it is after all only a year and half old. In the end I'm going to do the double monitor thing, and have them both hooked up. Anyway, I can finish the story of the night I reunited with Von. Like I said in the last post, I just don't feel comfortable writing about the men-es, when I'm not in the comforts of my own home... and this little info is for Southern Gal, I'm currently writing in some gray draws today, because...well I'm in a gray mood today. Thought you would appreciate that. By the way you don't know me...I don't have to have sex with everybody!

Anyway so where I left off me and Von had just jumped into my car. He then asks me, "So are you done, with your business stuff?" I smile and tell him, "Yeah, I'm done." He tells me that he was out running errands for his Grandmother. He had been in the house, most of the day, and he had just came out not to long before he ran into me. He told me he could always do that stuff later, no rush. However, he needed to go to the store for her, so I offer to take him there. As I'm driving we catch up on things. I ask him "So where you been hiding? I haven't got a call from you in a minute." I mean I know it was my fault also that I didn't save his number, but you know I had to deflect that mistake off of me. He suddenly gets quite and looks at me kinda guilty. He the says "Okay, don't get mad at me Y, but I kinda got locked back up." However I did get mad, I had been with Von to several places he had applied for a job, last summer, and which all did not reply back, because he had more than a couple charges on his record. Granted most of those charges were prior to him being 18, I think he had one or two post 18. He goes on "It wasn't my fault, though" I'm like whose fault was it then. He goes on to tell me that he was riding with a friend of his, from around the way. They were in the next county over. They got pulled over. His friend got locked up for something and he got locked up, because he had some old failed to appear in court from a couple years ago. He says "I had totally forgot about that, it had been so long." Curious as to when this all went down. The last time I had seen Von was in the end of August maybe September, might have been Labor Day weekend in fact. He tells me it went down sometime early September, when the phone calls stop. "I just got out, right before Christmas." Right around the time he kept crossing mind. They had given him 90 days or something. I shake my head, because I wonder how many more times he will get locked up before he really learns. I'll give it that he tries, but damn.

I decide to change the subject. I tell him how he looks taller for some reason. He laughs. He says that's what everybody has been telling him since he got out. He tells me that he thiks he grew a inch or two while locked up, now he is about 6'2 or something. He also mentioned how he gained 20 puonds for sure. He looks good, it went in all the right places. I ask him how his Uncle was doing. I knew that his Uncle was having more surgery, from last summer. I had spent quite some time with Von and his uncle last summer. His Uncle had visited from out of state around the time me a Von was hooking up, and a lot of times his Uncle would tag along. Although most of those times I was aggravated with the uninvited company, he was cool, and sometimes it would be me and him talking more in the car, and Von was most of the time left out the conversations. Last time I saw him he was leaving to go back home to have more surgeries. Von says, "He's good, he asks about you and whatnot." That puts a smile on my face. I respond, "What did you say?" Von responds casually, "I told him you was locked up." I was instantly pissed off now. I'm like why did he tell him that lie. Von goes on to explain that because his Uncle was sick, he didn't what to tell him that the reason we hadn't spoke or he hadn't seen me, was because he was locked up, he didn't want him getting upset, so he told him that I was locked up. Even though I understand the thought behind it, I still thought it was stupid. First his uncle is no stranger to jail he was locked up for like 10 or 15 years, himself. I explain back to Von that he was locked up for three months, did he really think his uncle didn't know he was locked up. Von insist he doesn't know. I tell Von, "You really need to stop lying, because you are not good at it." He has the nerve to look insulted. "Why...You lie. Why can't I?" I respond that I tell nice lies, and good ones. He tells reckless and unnecessary lies.

Right now I'm going to have a mid post Flashback story. The setting is last August. Me, Von and Uncle where coming or going somewhere... I don't remember. It was in the evening though. Uncle is in the passenger seat and Von was in the back behind me. I don't remember what we were talking about, but all out the blue Uncle says, "So Young, Von told me all about the little secret you are holding." I look in the rear view mirror, for answers and support. He is looking out the window as if he hasn't heard what his uncle just said. Instantly I'm filled with mixed emotion...nervousness and anger. Von had no right to say boo about anything about me. Especially since he was holding the same secret. I remain calm though.
I respond "What do you mean?" He says, "Von told me all about your sexual preference!" I know I'm turning red now..I can literally feel the turning. I'm thinking to myself it's on now nigga. As I'm looking at Von through the rear view mirror, still not acknowledging the conversation going on. I respond "Von, had no place telling my business."
Uncle responds, "You have nothing to be ashamed about, we have all been there"
Shocked at what I'm hearing, I say "We have?"
"Yeah, who hasn't dabbled down that road once or twice?
"You have?" I mean I knew he had been locked up for a decade, it wasn't a complete surprise, but I was still shocked he was being vocal about it.
He responds, "Yeah!"
"Well, I don't think every man has."
"If they haven't they have thought it."
"You really think so?"
"Oh, yeah... when the lights go out, it's all the same."
Still in complete awe at this conversation's direction. I say "I don't know I think there is some big differences."
He gives me this sly laugh. Then he says, "Don't get me wrong there are some differences... but booty is booty however way you look at it." I'm thinking to myself, this is truly a different side of Uncle, I have never seen.
"If you say so," is all I can muster out, because I'm truly speechless. It is actually hard to find words at this moment.
Uncle responds, "... but that is in my younger years though, I got to stick to my sistas now. I'm going to save all the white girls to you Young." If confusion and enlightened can happen at the same time. That was the moment it did. I say, "So Von told you I like white women, huh?" Uncle laughs and says, "Not like, but loves white women...can't get enough of them." I look once again at Von in the rear view mirror, his butt is still looking out the window, but I see him looking out the corner of his eye at me through the mirror. He knows that it's on, when we get alone.



Back to the originally schedule post. "This is just like white girl lie, Von." For me and Von, that is like the Rachel and Ross' "We were on a break" debate from "Friends". Von snaps back,"Hey Y, I still think that was a good one." I respond back with, "No, it was stupid, and pointless like me being locked up is." We get quite, nobody says anything, let what was said rest for a minute. Curious as to something, I break the silence when I ask him what exactly was I supposedly locked up for. He responds with a "Gun charge." I nod my head and say "Of course, what else would I be locked up for." The sarcasm completely going over his head Von says, "...that's what I'm saying and do know Uncle going to act like he don't believe me...he all like 'not young, I don't believe that...a gun charge, nigga you crazy'" I start to laugh, because I'm not alone in thinking that was a stupid tale. I say, "Yeah Von I can believe him not believing I was locked up for gun possession."
He not getting why nobody believes that. I say, "... because...uh... he has met me!" That man new my ass wasn't like his normal friends from the hood. "You need to stop lying on me, because you are not good at it, when it comes to me. I tell nice lies. You tell lies that has me being a white women lovin' illegal gun toting felon!"

We both are quite again. He mumbles loudly and says in a pouting way, "I still say the white girl thing was good." I can't help but laugh. I say something I have never said to a guy before, but it is some from he heart stuff I have to say. "You know what, Von?...I missed you." He looks over at me, and gives me a half smile. He responds, "You know what?... I missed you too, Y." I can feel it, he really means it too. I want him now. I ask him can we finish his Grandmother's errands later,There are things I rather do instead. That includes us both being naked. He then slightly hurts my feels with his hesitation. He says, "I don't know,I did want to finish up picking up those things, before the store closes." Trying not to show my bruised ego, I'm like alright then. I say, "I just wanted you, as soon as possible and do that thing you like so much." His face lights up like it's Christmas and he says, "The thing I like?...You mean it?" The bait worked. I say slyly, "Don't I always mean it?" He thinking, I can see it in his eyes. Von says, "Fuck the errands lets go!" Nothing more needed to be said.

So Southern Gal was right we did hook up. I can't help it...I'm so weak!

8 comments:

Mr. Jones said...

Welcome back. I aint mad at cha at all. Do your thing.

Oh, and a couple extra inches is never really a bad thing. When considering computer monitors, of course. Tehehe.

Q said...

Oooooh, I live for the locked-up sexually repressed got his swole on in jail over trade piece... I mean shit, he ain't got no friends in that joint that's coming out soon for me...lol

Thoughts of a Southern gal said...

I was going to say "my bad for stepping on your toes" but dammit I was right! A gold star for me!!! You are so predicatable. lol

So are yall still kicking it?

Name's YandB Mr. DL if you NASTY said...

Jones- Yeah a couple of inches bigger is never bad thing

Q- no no friends coming out...it was city jail, not prison

Southern- I don't think I'm as predictable as you think...but people have thought worse...yeah we still kicking it.

Darius T. Williams said...

Ha! RIGHT -you are weak

bLaQ~n~MiLD said...

You better be a DL homosexual, white woman loving, gun slingin muh fukka! LMAO. What in tha world?! Yea, he's a horrible liar although the lies oare so ridiculously entertaining, they're unnecessary. LoL.

Good shit n keep ya eye on him n his lies ma dude.

~Damnit!

Jerel said...

Hey I really enjoy reading your blog ... it actually helps me out in my own struggles of being on the down low and it's very interesting. I wanted to view your blog with your secrets but it will only let invited readers view it ... if you dont mind I would like to be invited to read it ... my email is bloggersblogg@gmail.com and hopefully you can use that to allow me to access it. Thx and I hope to read along with you and continue on this journey as a down low guy seeking as much help as I can.

RocaFella07 said...

LOL! @ the "Stalking" tag!!

Anyway, its crazy how the Universe works. It places you at certain times, in certain places, and makes you run into certain people.

I'm glad you told him how you felt in that moment...Its like, when you have deep feelings for someone, and you rarely see them, every face-2-face moment you have together becomes ultra important, and you have to say whatever you need to say because you dont know when your next chance will be.

Did that make any sense?

You should listen to "Alienated" by Keri Hilson.

And, what is this thing that "Von" likes soooo much?? LOL! I MUST know!!

;-)