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Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Six Degrees of Hoe Seperation... Part 1 of the Trilogy.


In the last couple of weeks, I have been on a personal journey, from hitting my hoe peak, to being trying to be actively abstinent to falling off the wagon, eventually leading me into a new territory of feelings. But since it's been a while since I've talked about that, Let me start my new revelation journey, from the beginning. THIS IS GOING TO BE A LONG ONE!

They say when an addict hits rock bottom, that's usually when they are ready for a change. Well I have officially hit rock bottom. I joke about my hoeish tendencies but I think now it's official, it's more than just some tendencies.

It all started I think a couple days, after Make Me Feel Good html post. Speaking of that particular post.
I have an O.M.G UPDATE: If you guys remember I mentioned this guy.That I wanted to reach out to. I hadn't talked to him, in like a year in a half. I was looking for his business card, and everything. I never called him, after our one night stand, like I told him I would. Let's call him RJ. Well one day not to long ago. Me and my cousin, that I mentioned was out, and he was talking about, how he is always networking. He was flipping through these business cards that he had recently gotten. One instantly caught my attention. I tell him, to go back. He flips back to this one, and I can't believe what I see. It's that guy, I mentioned. He's working for a new company, but he had that same goofy picture on his business card. It wasn't so much the picture was goofy, but more so his smile was. My cousin asks me, do I know him. I quickly give him, I think I might, not sure. I was just shocked that I had been thinking about RJ, and now here my cousin has his business card. I mean talk about believing things into happening. To bad that doesn't work with money. I ask him nonchalantly, where did you meet him. He thinks for a minute, and he goes on to tell me, about the night, where I stood him up for dinner. See, my cousin one night around the Make me feel good post, offered to treat me out to dinner, to cheer me up. He was going to take me out to Friday's. Why taking me out to his favorite place, was going to cheer me up,I don't know. Now that I know about that whole credit card thing. I see just how much he really did love Friday's. Anyway I was suppose to meet him there. I show up, and I don't see him anywhere around the bar area. He calls me to see where I'm at. He says he's there too. I then assume that they must have seated him. He tells me no, he's at the bar. Long story short. He is at one Friday's near his job, and I'm at the one near his house. The one I thought was his favorite. I head over to the one he's at, and on my way. I decide, I'm just not in the mood, and call him up, to get a raincheck. Well apparently, while he was waiting for me. He over hears RJ's and his female business associates conversation, and gives them some sound and great advice, on their business issue. Their types of businesses mingle together. When I called to tell my cousin, I couldn't make it. They all three decide to have dinner or drinks together. If I had shown up, I would have seen him in person. I'm not sure if that is a blessing or just bad luck, that I didn't run into him in person. Either way, they are talking about doing business in the future. I wanted to reach out to this guy so bad, and now here I got his telephone numbers, and I don't know what to do about it. I never mix my lifestyle and family together. I just don't have a good feeling about it, now that they might be doing business together. On the other hand, now that me and my cousin are not speaking to each other, this might be just fine to look him up. I'm still stuck with what do I say to a person, I promised to call the next day, and waited until a year and a half to do. Anyway back to what I was saying.....
I guess I was still, in the search, of that ultimate experience, that would take my sorrows away, or at least make me forget about them, for the moment. Anyway I went out to just see what popping off, and what not. There is this after hours spot, that is in between block wise, a gay club and a straight club. Let me cut to the chase, for some reason around that, a lot of DL men hangout there or around there, among the straight. Well I initially see this attractive light skin young thugged out nigga, we did the eye contact head nod thing for a while, until he disappeared somewhere. While I was looking for him, this guy comes up to me, and just starts talking to me...I was totally who the hell is this! I didn't know what this fool had on, and he had the gaudiest gold frame glasses on, his S-curl had a little to much activator in it or something, and lastly he had gold teeth...that really told his age. I'm going along with this little small talk, not really interested, still trying to find the disappearing light skin brotha. I leave to go home, and head outside. Robby, I would later find out his name to be, who is about late 40ish to about early 50ish... a little old for this crowd, I must say. He follows me outside. As I am still looking for light skin brotha, I tell Robby, I'm about to roll. That's when he asks me for my number, I look at him like are you for real. I give him the how do you know I get down like that response. He told me he saw me looking at a couple men... that doesn't seem like straight behavior. He had me there. However, I was still going to give him the polite no thank you response. Right before I was going to respond, he whispers in my ear... something about wanting something nice and juicy in his mouth, then walks off and leans against his Lexus., which happened to be parked next to my car. I don't know why, but I decide to go talk to him some more. Let me just get to the point... I gave him my number, and agreed to follow him back to his place. Even though a part of me, wasn't feelin' him.I just chopped that up to me being judgemental, about the way he was dressed, he waht clean and neat looking, just tacky and old school looking. However I think about it, and I decided to give him my exact words, an unenthusiastic, "Why the hell not."

As I'm following him, I keep telling myself.... take your butt home, you don't want him. There is a part of him, that kinda creeps you out. This is not a good sign. You are not going to get what you need, or even want from this fool. However, like I've said before, that R. Kelly in me takes over me... My mind is telling me Nooo, but my body....my body is telling me yeeeah! I mean I just over ride what my heart is saying, I have been so off key this year as, it come to my instincts about different things, that I decide to go against my instincts. (F.Y.I., is before the whole cousin fiasco, and we know where that got me.) But just on the up chance, that my instincts about this guy being so creepy is right...as I'm following him I text myself his license plate number, car model, and when we get to his place, his address; and I leave my cell phone in my car, just in case they find my body somewhere, when they find my car hopefully they will read my last few text messages, like they do on Law and Order SVU.

Now that I think about it. I don't think it was a creepy, he's going to kill me kinda vibe, I was getting, but more so, he's a creepy old perve, kinda vibe. For example, as I'm following him home, he calls me from his cell, to talk dirty, over the phone. Now I'm not a dirty talk kind of person to begin with, but the way he was saying things...was just not sexy. Things like, "I can't wait to rub your balls all over my face, and make you shiver." I was shivering all right, from nauseousness. I mean he was literary making me sick. I told him, "Look I'm already agreed to follow you, we really don't have to do this, over the phone, it's not necessary." By the way, all the freaking, nasty things he was saying, didn't get done at all. I don't know if that's a good thing or bad thing, but it was surely false advertisement. There was no balls rubbed all over anything, let me just say that!

When we finally get to his place. I follow him inside, and as we are going up the elevators. He mentions how I look nervous. Now I don't know how I looked, but I know how it felt like I looked. I could feel my face being crunched up; I tried to get rid of it, but I couldn't. I could just feel my face looking like I have just smelled, some sticky cheese in the room. The thing is I had finally really paid attention, to what this fool had on. He had on these lime/mint green wide leg silk dress pants. That wouldn't have been so bad, if he hadn't had on this black and gold 1996 Versace-esque looking silk shirt on with it. I just shook my head, but I hadn't seen nothing yet.

Let me describe this fool's apartment or condo. Not sure what it was, but I really got a condo vibe from it. It was actually right large, and the building it was in, was only 3 floors, his was on the top level. I really just got the feeling it was a condo. Anyway when he opened the door I was ambushed with two things. The first thing, was the old people smell. You know the smell you get, when you visit an old person place. You don't know exactly how they get it, but they have that smell, like moth balls and liniment. The second thing was this oldies music, he had left on, that was flowing from every room through the speakers, in the wall. I believe the song that was playing when we arrived was, the Temptation's "Poppa was a Rolling Stone." He told me to make myself at home and sit down. That was easier said than done. Let me describe his main Living room/Den/Family room. It was a combination of Early Century Old lady, and Modern Contemporary Tackiness. I mean there was lace dollie like table cloths on all the end tables. Nick knacks up the ass, all over the room...porcelain this and that...gold lion statues. H e had these ugly panting or picture on every wall.I 'm not sure if all of them were painting, because most of them looked like velvet. He had plants all over the place. I counted 11 in that room alone. I mean big fern and vine like plants hanging and sitting everywhere you look, and that wasn't even counting the eight Chinese good luck plants he had on his fake fireplace. Yes..he had a fake fireplace, that wouldn't have been so bad, if it was against the wall. I mean it was a good 4 inches from the wall, and had wires coming from behind it. I mean doesn't that dispute the point of it. Isn't it suppose to resemble a real fireplace, what fireplace have you seen , where it's four inches from the wall. Now I'm not going to say he had a bear skin rug in front of it, but I will say, that he had a white baby cub bear skin rug in front of his fake fireplace. I didn't even know they made baby cub skin rugs, but he had one. It had the head and paws, and everything. I guess he had it to match his white leather love seat. Beside the two Queen Ann chairs, to go with the white leather love seat, that has crotchet pillows thrown all over it. I think he could had room for a real sofa, if there wasn't so much crap in that room.

I got so caught off, by his place I hadn't even noticed that he had taken off his shirt, and was sitting beside me on the love seat, with his shirt off, and just his wife beater and those green pants. He has this stupid grin on his face, and that gold tooth shining, at me.

This is getting to long, I will finish later!

13 comments:

K.C. said...

Talk about a great laugh to get my morning going! The fake fireplace and statues are just too much! LMAO LOL He really thought he was stuntin'! Damn, you're making me have flashbacks to some really bad encounters but we all have them!

One guy, who was like close to 40, had all these Disney figurines in his house ... needless to say, that was a one time encounter! You kinda inspired me to post some previous messed up encounters ...

C'mon and get to part two ... I wanna know how this is gonna turn out!

RealHustla said...

My grandmother's house smelled like ivory soap and bacon ALL the time. I couldn't understand why. When I asked about it I was told it was a homey smell, LOL.

I don't understand why you couldn't listen to that first vibe. You had to know that things weren't going to work out regardless of what your body was telling you.

fuzzy said...

my eyes!, My lord my eyes! What did I just read? I can't stop the burning! lol

I don't know if I wanna read the next one! I will though, curiosity killed the cat! :-)

Thoughts of a Southern gal said...

LOL I'm too done after reading about the fireplace and white baby cub bear skin rug.

Did you say something about velvet? lol

bLaQ~n~MiLD said...

Aiight you're better than me! Ya mind was telling you know and ya body should've been telling you HELL NO!!! LMAO. And his place was a damn mess & a half! LoL.

~Damnit!

Ladynay said...

Oh my damn...

Even tho' I know you went through with it even thou' you had a MILLION red flags flying everywhere, there's a part of me that wishes that part 2 is when you had enough, got up, and went home with out doing anything with this dude!

Opinionated Diva said...

I am laughing sooooooooooo hard at what that apartment looks like. OMG...the lace doillies, the baby cub skin rug complete with the head and all the limbs...the fireplace being four inches from the wall...the Queen Anne Chairs...the Temptations playing in the background...LOL!!!! OMG that was some serious laughing my ass out loud right there!!

Did the velvet pics glow in the dark? LOL...my mom used to have something like that in the earlllllllllly 70's!!!

I'm so mad at you...like really mad at you...for texting yourself his license plate, car make/model and address. Whenever you feel to do something like that, you KNOW something aint right!

Nario said...

mouth wide open, Lmao. Brotherman I can say two things, one when you get to this stage, yea it's time to re-evaluate some things and 2. Everyone has a horror story. Mine involved a 36yr old kappa...OMG and had the nerve to not answer his phone...lmao Maybe one day I will tell that story!

Darius T. Williams said...

Yea, I'm falling out too at this. Pretty funny stuff - knick-knacks up the ass? Who has knick-knacks anymore...and why?

Kat said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kat said...

I had to change my comment a bit! HAHAHA

WTF!!! How you gonna just STOP at the good part like that???? HAHAHAHAHAH

WOW!!! I'm SOOO glad that I found your blog from one of my friends! HAHAAH

First off....How Strange is it that your cousin has the business card of the guy you were just thinking of. WOW! I hope you take a second and CALL HIM this time!! And dont let the chance slip away again.

Second...That throwback dude must have some SERIOUS balls..he didn't have ANY problem hollarin at you!!! I mean Daaaaaang!

Third....HAHAHAHAH.....You and the CSI routine!

Lastly....When do we get part 2??????

Prince Xem VanAdams-Lumumba said...

...and Somehow, I THOUGHT I was the ONLY One Who carried around this Shame. HA*

I was 19 and He was 36. UGH*

Opinionated Diva said...

Imma fight you...where is part two?