I'm Not Sucking Dick Anymore in 2009!!

I wrote this the other night when I came home, so sorry it it's a bit graphic and detailed, than usual!

So I'm just coming in for the night, and I have made up my mind, that I'm officially not sucking anymore dick this year. It's a wrap I tell you. I just don't want to do it anymore. It's officially not in me anymore, or at least this year.

Let me say this. I like sucking dick. I'm not ashamed to say that, well at least not on my blog that is. In the past I have enjoyed sucking dick...well at least don't mind it. However I like getting my dick sucked more, let me get that straight, right now. Overall though I like engaging in oral sex. I get it, for some oral sex is very personal, and you do it with people you really like. For some sex or intercourse is very personal. For some everything is open market. Well, anyway I like oral sex, however this year...hmm not so much. I just haven't been into giving oral sex as much. I don't know why, but it has started to feel more like a job, than well for pleasure. I mean it really has started to feel like a "blow job," than just another sexual outlet. It feels like a task, that I need to do do have an overall enjoyable experience. I do it, because I like my partner to be satisfied, as much as I do. I like being considered a good lover. A good lover wants their partner to have an enjoyable experience as much as they do. However, lately if I don't have to I choose not to do it. I mean I have found myself, saying and telling many guys, I don't do that, sorry I don't go down. Other times I have done it, well...just because...as childish as that may sound.

But now, I'm not sucking anymore dick. I'm just not. It's September now, and I feel it's a wrap for the year. I will reevaluate the issue in January.

Well, let me tell you what happen tonight. So I'm with this guy, and he talking all this, I don't want to be alone tonight blah blah blah...I want your company tonight...no I need you company blah blah blah. After this I know it's official that he gets down. Before this, wasn't so sure. So after this I decide to have "The Talk." "The talk" is what I do, when I'm with a new sexual partner. It gets certain maters cleared up first, before anything pops off. Some may think its un-sexy or whatnot, like some view talking about sexual protection is, but just like that, "The Talk" it's very necessary for me. I'm not going to lie, it's like a very informal job interview. What do you expect from me, what do I expect from you sexually...I'm into this, what are you into...I don't do this, and I don't do that... I do this sexually, but that's not happening tonight...those are some of things discussed in "The Talk." I know some people think you should just let things flow organically, but been there, done that. Not for me. I have been in the position, where things got all heated up, and I find out to late that something was expected or that they don't do something, that I may need, and it such becomes frustrating for both parties. I now avoid all of that. Well at least I try. I mean everything isn't for everybody! I understand that. Well, I take that back, some guys can flow like that...some girls can flow like that. They are down for just about whatever. I am not like that. Plain and simple. I have restrictions, and I have had partners with restrictions. I say get it all out up front.

It's like having a rough draft of what's about to pop off. It's not a final draft. Things can change, but is a outline of what is to come. You can veer off of the outline a bit, switch things up, but you do not go off the page! You stay on the outline page, that was initially set up. It's like in sports, you have a game play. Your coach goes over with you the play, what position is suppose to do what, and move where, and anticipate what from the other team. The key word is ANTICIPATE, you can plan all you want, but you never know what the other team is going to do, until you are out on that field or court. The outline for us tonight night was no intercourse. He gave me all of this he was a Top and he don't let guys around his booty, and yada yada yada. That was cool with me, because he wasn't getting up in me, so that was cool. We talked about the other details, he said he does everything else...uh huh! Well that was a lie.



So we get busy. Everybody gets naked. The game starts. Right off of back, he veers off from the outline. I mean I doing what we discussed, a little foreplay. I mean I am doing those arousal type uh things. Well, when it's my turn the suddenly, "I don't lick nipples or suck nipples, or do any of those foreplay type of things." He does no kissing of the neck, no caressing anything. Tells me he don't lick anything above the waist, or below the dick! See I should have stopped things right there. This was not mentioned in "The Talk." This was not apart of his what I do not do list. He said he was down for whatever, except for his booty. Now I mentioned I don't kiss on the mouth. I put that out there. I was upfront. I kiss everywhere else, but not that. That's real personal For ME. I think this year I have only kissed 3 or 4 people. I have to really like you or be feeling you for that. I was not feeling him, so it was a no go on that. However foreplay was suppose to be on the outline, the game play, the menu. I kinda need foreplay. Right then and there I should have shut things down, but I just rolled my eyes and kept it moving. I gave a little oral, he then gives a little oral. He wasn't bad. i men it was certainly not the best I ever had, but he was decent. Was going to get the job done. I don't like monotonous. I switch things up, flip him back on his back. I'm going down, then suddenly he springs out the "Come to my butt" move. This is when a guy spreads his legs apart while at the same time slightly raising his pelvic area; with a result of his thighs elevated and his legs spread apart. Some may actually raise there legs into the air. When on their stomach then the only difference is the butt raises high in the air. Now if you remember he said no booty action, yet again here he goes off of the game plan, that was discussed. However I kept things moving. I got the couple necessary things to make things easy and safely travel in. Although, I'm not sure I need those lubricants all that much. I mean homeboy, was quite easy to slide my fingers into. I mean some its a challenge to get one finger in, and they remain comfortable. For this nigga to be such a strict Top and "nobody messes with my booty," things moved quite easily. I mean homeboy took not one, not two, but three fingers, without a flinch. I feel extremely awkward being so graphic...well graphic for me, but anyway let me get to the extreme frustrations.

I worked my tail off, to get this nigga off. I mean I don't know how it evolve into this this big challenge to get this nigga off. He took so much. One by one, he kept adding this he needed me to do simultaneously. I think it got to a point I wanted to get him off, so I can then get off, and go home. So at one point I had one hand up in him while pulling hard on his balls, and with the other hand jacking him off, while going down on him. I mean I was multi tasking like a mug. It felt like forever to get this Mofo off. Every time I would stop because, I was getting tired, he would whine, and say its like starting all over trying to get to his climax. As I am typing this I am mad as hell, at MYSELf, as to why I kept on working. It felt like I was working my ass off. I mean I was. I was sweating like a field nigga. He would whine when ever I stopped to wipe the sweat off my face. I mean my seat was literally blinding me, it was falling so much. It wasn't like it was hot, I was just working that hard. Finally after God knows, how long he cums. He goes to the bathroom to clean up, and I just lie there.

He comes back and then suddenly, he like, so when you going home. I was like as soon as you get me off.I right then knew things was going to get crazy, when he gets this frown on his face...like he freaking Gary Coleman, with his "What you talking about Willis?" look. He starts talking about he thought I came, and he thought I had my climax. I simply reply, "When...when did I have this climax?...when I was getting his greedy tail off?" He then starts with the hemming and hawing, about how he has to get up in the morning, and get his clothes ready, and take his shower, and its already really late he only has a few hours to sleep, blah, blah, blah. At this point I getting angry pretty fast. I ask where was all of that, when he was talking about not wanting to be alone tonight and needed company, he wasn't talking about work then. Let me just cut to the chase. As the debate goes on. I suddenly become the Incredible Hulk, the other side of me is taking loose. I'm frustrated now. I'm at this point where I can't believe he going to leave me hanging like this. He sees my anger, and his little thug ass, starts baby I'm going to make it up to you, I promise. I tell him like it is....I WASN'T EVER PLANNING ON GETTING WITH HIM AGAIN, SO WHEN EXACTLY WAS HE PLANNING ON MAKING IT UP TO ME? Truth is this was just suppose to be a one night thing. He had no potential for this to be extended to anything more.

So fed up I get dress ready to go home, when I see he getting dress to. I ask him where was he going, when he replied that he was out of cigarettes, to get some. The Hulk lost his shirt then. I mentioned those same things he just said, about I thought you had to get up in for work in a few hours, had to get your work clothes together, take a shower, and whatnot. He tells me that's different. I then try to reason with him...yes the things you do when you are sexually frustrated. You know what I don't even think it was that. I think I was upset that I had put out some serious work, to get him off, and he has come up short on his end. I know it's my fault, I shouldn't have done it, but at that moment I was angry with him. I try to reason with him, like I have done before with certain men, I compare the sexual experience to if, they were with a woman. How would a woman feel if he left her hanging like that, he would want to make sure she got off too. He then informs me, he had never been with a woman.

Okay....

To say I was speechless would be putting it mildly. See this statement, threw me for a loop, like you wouldn't believe. To say that the tires were screeching to a hot halt, is putting it lightly. I couldn't believe that his thug out out tail, was not Bisexual. My shock was not that he had never been with a woman, but my shock was that for someone who only got with men, he wasn't better at it! I mean he wasn't bad or the worse, but he certainly wasn't the best, let alone...good. Shocked, I kept asking, "You only get with men?" Getting upset with men, now...he was like "Yeah, why you keep asking?" I never answer that, but I will tell. I can expect the lack luster sexual experience from a guy who doesn't always get with men, but it kinda shocks me to get this from a guy who gets with men all the time. It's like if you do it all the time, shouldn't you be good at it. I mean when you hear that a person cooks all the time, don't you expect that they are a good cook. I mean I'm not even talking about him leaving me hanging, I'm talking about what he did do. Okay, back to the cooking analogy...he knew the basics to cooking a stuffed Turkey, but he didn't know the little details to it. I mean he knew there was a Turkey, stuffing, temperature of the stove, and so on. However he didn't know the seasonings to go the Turkey...that celery, onions, bread crumbs, eggs, goes into the stuffing...and he certainly didn't know how long to cook the Turkey. It just didn't make sense to me. He should have been better at it all!

He told me he was going to call me, or I could call him, so he could make it up to me. I'm not going to call him.

On the car ride home. I kept thinking about his year, and a lot of my sexual experiences. That's when I realized, I'm tired of it all. Most importantly I'm tired of passing out my Goodies to niggas. I'm not sucking anymore dick, of these ungrateful bastards. I'm really done for the year. I feel, it. maybe I'm changing it that, it's not in me anymore. I just don't feel it. Like I said before, I'm going to lay off until next year, and then reevaluate the situation! That seems to be the best solution.