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Friday, October 9, 2009

You Think You Know, But You Have No Idea...


Okay I wanted to address a few things, that was on my mind. I was actually inspired by Mariah Carey's song "Obsessed." I actually stated a post, about this song, when it first came out. The whole Eminem and Mariah battle of the words, kinda inspired some thoughts and feelings, but I didn't finish it, and it got to the point everyone had moved on from the whole situation. Well I might revisited aspects on that original post later on, but there is some things I want to say first.

Now I was going to leave this a lone, but I really want to talk about the blog life. I'm not really sure, where I'm going to go with this, so this is going to sorta be just free writing. Since I don't exactly know how to go into this discussion, I will just start with myself. I went into blogging as a sorta release for myself. I keep a lot of feelings and personal experiences to myself. Some of us have that go to person, that you tell everything too, that knows all that goes on with you and your life. They give you advice, they chastise you, they lift you up when you are down, they are your best friends who you share your life with. Some don't tell anything to anyone. They keep things locked, like a safe. Some just keep it to themselves and some may only write it down for themselves in a personal journal. Well I would say, I'm a combination of these two. There is an aspect of my life I talk to people about, and then I have one aspect of my life, where I don't talk about it at all, and quite frankly I feel like I don't have anyone to talk to about it. So I talk those feelings and experiences, and that is what makes up this blog. It is my sorta release. It is my outlet....anyway I have discussed that before, so moving on. Anyway over time, it sorta developed into, me sharing my story. My experience and what I go through, with others...however...

I want to say this, and I really don't know how to say this in any other diplomatic way, that this. Believe it or not, I try very much to be diplomatic in the way I say things and express myself...well maybe some in blog world, would disagree, but offline, I'm very diplomatic, let me tell you. Well any here goes...JUST BECAUSE YOU READ MY BLOG, DOESN'T MEAN YOU KNOW ME. There you have it, plan and simple. I think that goes for any blogger on any blog. At this moment I feel very Maury Povich guest right now...saying "You don't know me...You don't know me!!"

Let me explain. If anyone remembers MTV, use to have this show called "Diary". The show was about showing the everyday life of some celebrity for a short period of time, as they narrated their experiences and their life. They always started the show with the phrase..."You think you know, but you have no idea." In that you think you know them, but you have no idea who they really are. I think we read some one's blog everyday...of course I'm not talking about me, y'all lucky if you get a couple post a month, but there are bloggers who do post faithfully everyday, sometimes multiple times a day...anyway we read some one's post everyday, we look forward to it, can't wait to see what next they have to say or write. We read some of their life experiences, and we read some of their opinions on pop culture or political news. We read about something funny their kids say, or something crazy that happen in their life at work, and we start to develop feelings. Feelings, that we know this person. Feelings that because we are reading thoughts and feelings, that we know the blogger, because they have let us into, a piece of their life. However reality is unless we personally know them face to face,like some do have those types of relationships, withother bloggers, we don't REALLY know them.

I understand how, we may feel that way, but that's not realistic. I read all the post about O that Southern Gal has to write about her son. And all his funny antics and things he has to say... and I read about Buttahfly's children and her knitting, that she loves, I read about all of Pimpusique's sexual adventures...and Q and his crazy weekends in DC and Corey and his relationship with Parker in ATL...and so on and so. But does that mean we know them?

I don't think so, personally. A couple weeks ago Southern Gal, revealed that she hadn't had sex in a year in a half. This opened the door for several women to reveal they hadn't had sen in this and that length of time. You couldn't have told me, that Southern Gal wasn't having sex. I would have told you..."You are lying!" Another poster, that I think I have been reading their blog for over a year, real quickly mentioned their son, in a post. I was a little amazed how everyone seemed to ignore that little bit of info. Now I have read some of the most intimate, and sexual details of their life, in their blog, and I don't think...I could be wrong...but I don't think they ever mentioned having children. I actually meant to email them, what was up with that and since when did they have a son, but I forgot...well procrastinated to long, to where I forgot. Next there was this other blogger, who mentioned a little detail about their health, that shocked me. I also had been reading their blog for a very long time. Through a few relationship breakups and financial issues, and so on, but never had they every talked about this health issue. As soon as I read the post, I emailed them, to find out if I was reading the post correctly. They didn't come out and say it directly in the post, but it was sorta snicked into the post. They told me the story behind it, and how the health issue developed, and quite frankly it was a very tragic story, to me. It is a very personal situation, and it's their peragative if they tell the whole situation. I personally don't think they have to go public or should about their experince in order for someone to show respect towards them.

Well, what got me, was what came next, and well sorta how this post came to develop. It started from the comment section of this particular blogger's post. I'm going to give you the actual comments, with the comments that was irrelevant omitted.

Anonymous said...
I HOPE U DIE OF H.I.V YOU SELFISH, PATHETIC EXCUSE 4 A HUMAN BEING...NOW SUCK ON THAT BITCH!!!

My friend blogger said...
lmao, so I'm trying to think do I want to stoop to the level that anonymous has stooped to, which is immature. lmao So I'm going to act like an adult and hold my peace! Especially since I know the one that made the comment. Like its not obvious...

Anonymous said...
THIS NIGGA BE TRIPPING ON DICKS LIKE THERE`S NO TOMORROW...WAT A FAGGOT!..I WANNA KNOCK A CUP UP HIS ASS...IT`S TOM BITCH.
COME AND SEE ME
http://realitybong.wordpress.com/

What I yours truly YB&DL said...
See this is why I don't let Anonymous people comment on my blog. People always got something to say, when hiding behind the Anonymous mask.

I have said some things on some blogs and post, somethings, that are not the nicest, but always do it under my Screen name. If you not bold enough to say it under your screen name or REAL blog, then get old school, and don't say anything at all!

Both of those Anonymous comments, sound personal...I'm sorry.

The first comment calling you selfish...hmmm The second comment, is claiming to be a white racist named Tom...the strange part about that is most racist white men, call blacks NiggER, and when a black person calls a fellow black person, they call them NiggA, like Anonymous 2 here has done. In fact that whole statement sounded like a black person..."This nigga be trippin on dick, like there is no tomorrow"...hmmm, yeah that doesn't exactly sound like an old racist white man, does it?

My Friend Blogger, I chatted to you about this yesterday, however after reading these comments, I see where you maybe coming from now!

In my opinion this sounds like some bitter people, who you have been acquainted with, in your life. Perhaps an ex or two, I don't know. I seriously doubt this racist has been reading your blog, waiting for a chance to say something like this on it!



Miss Z said... (that's what I'm choosing to call him)
I SAID IT BITCH...IT`S Z AKA THE MELTDOWN BITCHLEADER AKA SOUTHERN STAR...AND I STILL STAND BY MY COMMENTS...U ARE A SELFISH, PATHETIC EXCUSE 4 A HUMAN BEING...GOING AROUND SPREADING H.I.V...GOING AROUND WITH UR LOSS ASS...THINKING IT`S CUTE BUT BITCH IT AINT..I`VE BEEN READING UR BLOG 4THE PAST WEEKS AND U`RE FULL OF SHIT STR8 UP..&..UNLIKE UR FELLOW BLOGGERS I`M NOT GONNA BE KISSING ON UR ASS..U`RE JUST NASTY AND I HOPE U DIE SOON...
ZXX


What I, yours truly YB&DL said...
I'm going to say this last comment, then I'm over this post.

We never know what people have been through, or what their real experiences are. most of us don't know the real blogger. We get a glimpse,into them, through their blog, but we don't know everything or every experience about them.

So when we ASSUME, such ignorant and stupid things, never more do you truly make an ASS of U and ME!

however we also have to take into consideration, that at the end of the day, it's a child, making these comments. Now some are mature at that age, but a lot especially boys of that age, don't have the sense God gave them yet.

Some people don't have anything to wake up in the morning for, but to hate on someone else.

So let's all just leave it at that.

What I will lastly say is this, if you don't l ike a blogger or like what they have to say, then guess what?...Don't read their blogs, and and you won't have to deal with what they have to say!

If I don't like a blogger, or what they have to say, I don't read or vist their blog.


Miss Z said...
I JUST DONT GET IT, WHERE DID SELF-RESECT GO...KNOWIN THAT U HAVE H.I.V,YOU DECIDE SPREAD IT AROUND JUST FOR THE FUN OF IT...IT`S JUST SELFISH AND EVIL!!!
ZXXX


Miss Z said...
@ YBandDL Bad PYT In the Closet at Hearbreak Hotel....CALL ME WHATEVER AS LONG I KNOW...I`M NOT ON THE DOWNLOW OR SPREADING AIDS LIKE YOU MUTHERFUCKERS!!!
ZXXX


Let me just say this, in this particular post, he was talking about how him and a particular person was getting really hot and heavy, but before things go to hot, he had to tell them his health status. He revealed his health status, and never mentioned having unprotected sex.Well after that Miss Z has then went onto say several more things to me and about me on my blog and other blogs. I have deleted the comments permanently from me blog. A reader of my blog, non commenter, told me to delete all of the comments. They told me don't give someone like that a voice on your blog to speak hatred to you. I deleted and they came back hard the next day saying the same thing over and over like 10 times. Therefore what provoked me to install the comment approval device. I personally, don't like that. I think a lot of comments are fueled by what other comments are, and you the blog host may not approve comments in time. However I now understand why certain blogs have the approval system, to halt such negative slander. I am always up for a debate or a challenge of words, but when you say hateful things, with no motivation of learning from the experience or growing, then I'm out.

Here is my long ass explanation for this entire post... We think that by reading people's blog and getting basically a glimpse into them, and a little bit of who they are, that we have the whole picture. That we have the right to judge them. I'm not saying I haven't judge anyone or what they had to say, because that would be a lie. I have very much done that, to certain people. I have judge the situation, to the extent of me emailing them my views. However that doesn't make it right. One thing I haven't done though is personally attacked them, maybe actions, but never as if I know the whole story of who they are. I think as far as my blog goes and everyone Else's, there is more to the story, than what we read, so take that into consideration.

You never know what someone has been through, or what really makes them up!

Let me also just say this. Yes you read about my sexual experiences and sometimes those personal things, that I feel I can't share with others in my life...but that doesn't mean. You know it all. One of those things is, just because I have sex with men, and I have Down Low in my title doesn't mean I am having raw unprotected sex, with every man and woman. Let's just get that straight.

-------------------------------------

Well, anyway back to Mariah Carey's song Obsessed. I actually feel a lot of the lyrics aply to me and "Miss Z."

"You on your job, you hatin’ hard
Ain’t gon feed you, I'ma’ let you starve...

When everybody knows it’s clear that you’re upset with me...

You a mom and pop, I’m a corporation
I’m the press conference, you a conversation...

Why you wasting your time?...

Got you all fired up with your Napoleon complex
See right through you like you’re bathin’ in windex..."

That's all I'm going to say on that

7 comments:

Thoughts of a Southern gal said...

First off, my streak is O-V-E-R!!!

Blogging is probably like 7% of a person. There's is no way you know someone just by reading their blog. It's just one side of that person's personality.

As far as Miss Z, he has issues.

Enigma Jones said...

I agree with this 100%. My blog does not equate to every aspect of me and my life, just those apects I CHOOSE to make public. However, to play devils advocate, I must mention something about the Anonymous. When you, in essence, put your private journal on the interwbs, and leave it open for all to read and comment on, then yes, you are saying that it's ok for complete, unsanctioned readers to form a judgement. NOT EVERYONE WILL AGREE with the blogger and if they leave the option open for just anyone to comment, they can't really be upset at this. The internet is full of thugs that are tough as nails on the net and soft as cotton on the street.

fuzzy said...

I will say this, your posts always open my mind for thought. I agree with you on so many different levels on how you really don't know a blogger by their blog, because they are only showing you what they want to be seen.

I will say that I render more than 7% of me. I talk about a host of different issues. I show my humor, my emotions, my reactions and on occasion, my naive state! On delicate issues, like the one your friend was going through, I will reserve details. I've always said that if anyone were to privately ask, in an appropriate way and time, I would answer your questions. I only ask people to be respectful and not intrusive. nobody likes a bug-a-boo!!!

.::STELLA*DELLA::. said...

IT IS WHAT IT IS. PEOPLE WILL THINK WHAT THEY WILL THINK. IF U KNOW ITS NOT TRUE THEN GO ON ABOUT YOUR BUSINESS...AFTER ALL IT IS ABOUT YOU AND U ARE THE AUTHORITY AND FINAL SAY SO WHAT CAN THEY REALLY DO WITH A FEW BAD WORDS.....


2. IF SOMEONE ASKS U SOMETHING U DONT WANT ANSWERED, JUST DONT ASSUME THAT EVERYONE KNOWS WHY YOU DONT WANT TO ANSWER IT OR THEY ARE BEING RUDE BECAUSE YOU NEVER KNOW IF U ARE OFFENDING SOMEONE UNLESS THEY TELL YOU. JUST BE FORWARD ABOUT THINGS AND DO YOU PART WHICH IS POST...EVERYONE WILL ALWAYS TAKE IT IN DIFFERENT WAYS.

Darius T. Williams said...

Um, so where's the original post? I want to read that post before I comment.

IntrospectiveGoddess said...

My blog is currently private now for the very reason that enigma stated, even when people dont comment when you share certain parts of your life online people ARE going to make judgements, its just the way it is, anyway I agree with all that you have said actually did about 3 posts about shit like this. Its just the cross us bloggers have to bear.

Ladynay said...

I read that foolishness that was over there and left it alone. Hate to hear he brought it over here too! :-(

I can co-sign this post like the others.