Continuance of My Failed shot at Abstinence...

I got a few comments on the post before last, about, who the other guy was, that I mentioned. I will get to him later.

After parting ways with Chris in that parking lot that that morning, I was left feeling calm and energized. I think it's that something new feeling. That feeling you get at the very beginning of something you think is going to be filled with great possibilities. Now granted I had only just met him, but I felt like we were in sync with each... on the same page.... I felt we made a quick connection. I have found that sometimes that just happens. I have met friend that I just instantly clicked with, and felt like this was one of those times. We had a no hold bars, easy going, instant easily 4 or more hour conversation. That basically I ended, because I was tired and it was Sunday. I believe he could have kept going. I mean I think he wanted to go on in more ways than one. I was so proud how I had self control not to go farther, with him, right then. Now I know that I still wasn't innocent, in that I groped him, well unzipped his pants and groped him, as we were kissing, but I think that this is still progress. I felt he was feeling me and I was feeling him.

Now granted technically I didn't fall off of my abstinence journey yet, with that little encounter, but I was done for the week yet. Now I didn't finally connect with Chris until later that week. Now I wasn't going to contact him, for a couple days. That was my plan, didn't want to seem needy or what not, so I never contact right away. If he decided to call me right away...well eh alrighty then... but I wasn't calling him first. After the 3 day grace period, which is the not to soon, but not too far off appropriate time period. I decided to call him. As I was about to call him, I thought about the last of our conversation, and Chris's kinda insecure questioning about whether I was going to call him like I said I would but him not believing me, and me responding with, "..well you know the phone works both ways."

I also started to think about how I made all the first moves, from the talking to him first... to the coming out and asking him does he get down with men or not...to even the first kiss...As I was thinking, I decided that I'm not going to call him first, he can call me first, so I decided to wait it out a little longer.

I really didn't give it a second thought anymore, for a couple of days...until that Friday night. I don't know what it is about Friday and Saturday nights, that makes you think about love interest, dates, sex, and just extracurricular activities overall, with the sex of your choice. I thought about the whole not calling him some more, and thought well maybe I was wrong in my thinking. Maybe he just wasn't that kinda of guy who can make the first move. Even though he has been getting with guys the same about of time I have, I was a little more experienced at it, than him. He was pretty much taking the from my lead, that night. I decided to compromise with myself. I really didn't want to call him first, but I wanted to reach out at least, so I decided on texting him first.... I know what y'all are thinking...but that made me feel better, on caving in.

It took me a couple of minutes to come up with the right first text. I didn't want ti to be boring or your typical "What's up," "Hey," or "What's Good." Besides those short little cute greetings isn't my style anyway, I really don't know what to call my style, but I know that isn't it. After coming up with it, it was around the same time in the morning we had met, so sent him the message and here's how it went...

Me: Do you know what tomorrow around the same right now will be?
Chris: Who Dis! (Now I expected something better that that or just a what)
Me: Lol... yeah okay. (I thought he was joking, because it took a week for me to contact him)

Chris: Naw 4real who dis

Me: Are you serious? (I was a little confused since I had seen him type my information into his

phone and saved it)

Chris: Yea. Got a new phone ( Truth or excuse?)

Me: Yeah...sure whatever (yeah I had copped an attitude... I get it)

Chris: Oh yeah I remember ( Now suddenly he remembers...Not sure if he did or not...)

Me: So...

He didn't respond anymore after that, and neither did I. If he did remember, it didn't move him to say anymore. I really didn't know what to think about that. Now as I think about it, I don't know what I expected from that text conversation, but I thought it would go a whole lot better than that. I then decided to email a fellow blogger, who had a not so old post about relationship commandments or when you first meet someone things you shouldn't do. I don't know why but they stood in my mind. I really can't ask family and friends this, for obvious reasons. If you are slow and don't know, just look at the name of my blog. I explained to them the whole thing and they sent me an email back, explaining that not everyone, you are into are going to me into you...there's plenty fish in the sea.... and don't call him anymore, because if he was really into me, then he would have at least remembered you...which she had valid point to. I though long and hard about what they said. I had thought about the same thing, before they got back to me with an answer. I had actually decided I was just going to let the whole Chris thing go. I wasn't the bugaboo type...actually I never call or text guys first, so this was all new to me. However, actually after getting Southern Gal's email, it did the reverse impact on me, and a couple days later I did it again, because I just didn't get it.

Me: Yo, are you busy?

Chris: Who Dis (At least he is consistent, I'm guessing that's one of his quick texts)

Me: Young

Chris: O whats good wit u

Me: Got a problem

Chris: What

Me: Well this dude I met last weekend keeps giving me the who dis line and I don't get it.

Chris: Bad memory..lol

Me. So it has nothing to do, with you not wanting to talk to me, cuz I was going to step off.

Chris:________ ( Flat line because he didn't respond anymore after that)

After that I didn't text or say anything further on. I was confused as to what happen. What happen to the guy who was feeling me. The guy who was concerned about whether or not I was going to call him or not. The guy who was a little upset, that I didn't save his info in my phone right away. I JUST DIDN'T GET IT!

Now even though this part is going to make this a really long post. I'm going to go in, on the other guy, Von. I met Von the week of meeting Chris and then texting Chris. I met Von at a drug store. Here's the short version. After seeing him around the store a couple times. When I'm at the register, and so is he. He is looking at me all intense. He finally says "Yo son, you look familiar... don't I know you?" I mentioned how he look familiar too, but I didn't know from where. blah blah blah He mentions how he has a twin, maybe he knows me through him. I suddenly remember that I did meet a guy once, that talked about how he had a twin, and that maybe he does look like that guy. I mention how this guy though had cornrows. Von gets excited, and says,"Yo that was me, I had cornrows." He asks me for a lift a couple blocks to his house. I gave him one. Still didn't remember him exactly or what we did. Neither did he, but we did figure out, that maybe got down, because he mentioned how him and his twin both get down. Crazy I know, but what he said. He asks me for a lift a couple blocks to his house. We talk some more...blah blah blah, he asks for my number. I gave it to him. Didn't bother asking for his, because at the time I was still excited about Chris. So that's how I got reacquainted with Von.

Von was actually my rebound after that last text with Chris. A little pissed off that the whole Chris thing. Von called right on time. He called me not to long after my last text to Chris. I needed something....At this point I had been good for close to a month. I hadn't had any sex. Trying hard, to turn over my bad ways. Look for something more than just sex... a little connection. Got the little connection, and nothing came from that. I decided to go with the guy who was feeling me. The sex was cool, but nothing exciting, the first time. That is until the next time.

Tired of writing, will talk about Von some more later. The fact is that my period of abstinence is so over!