Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Pictorial Editorial Wednesday-Tiger's Women
Now I promise I will soon right a real blog soon, but I thought I will post this until I do. I have much to write about, in my life, but just haven't taken time to do so. One thing no one can say about me right now, is my lack of something to write about, but more so lack of focus to write it instead.
I decided to give you a pictorial editorial of all of Tiger's alleged women...1-7 so far. I couldn't find pictures of 8 through 10, because I couldn't find their names. I actually goggled to find the best pictures of the ladies, and put a face to the booty Tiger was tapping.
1.) Rachel Uchitel. The club hostess was the first woman to be linked to Tiger. Y'all, she is the only who is always caught in pictures wearing the big sunglasses. Like the second picture of her. She kept saying she met him a few times, but didn't really know him. nothing was going on. Well, her nothing going on self has been allegedly flew to Australia to be with Tiger and give him some Down Under lovin' during a golf tournament there. I think I would have just gotten to local Australian booty if I was Tiger, his chances would have been better without of the country sex and hook ups. She has remained silent...well at first. I think now with all the women coming out the wood work I hear she is upset, because she thought she was the only mistress...hmmm how wrong she was. I hear she was going to speak out but Tiger offered her a $1 million dollars to keep quite.
2.) Jamie Grubbs. She is the cocktail waitress, that was on VH1's "Tool Academy." I watched both seasons, but wasn't into it enough to remember her or which season she was on the first or second season. Those of you who don't know what "Tool Academy" is, it's a show where women bring there douche bag men, to make them better men, for the sake of their relationship. All I know is that either season was while she was supposedly on a 31 month affair with Tiger. So she was on a show to make her alleged boyfriend a better partner, but she was sleeping with Tiger too. She was supposedly seeing him until that infamous night he crashed his car. She is the one who released the voicemail, where tiger is telling her to change her outgoing voicemail message in case his wife calls. Tiger all this chick wanted was some fame. And you gave her simple looking ass, it too. Nothing all that special about her either.
This was Jamie's boyfriend on "Tool Academy," I don't remember him either. In fact I really don't remember too many people on this show, not important enough to remember, but I do remember the hair cut!
3.) Kalika Moquin. The 27-year-old club manager from Las Vegas is reported to have had a brief sexual relationship with Tiger. She would neither confirm nor deny the report. I would have to say she is one of the prettier girls, so far. Her and ole girl in the number 1 spot, Rachel are in competition for prettiest Tiger girl. She keeping her mouth shut. I like that. Hmm she's a club manager, so at least it's step up from low budget models and waitress.
4.) Cori Rist. She's a 31-year-old swimsuit model/single Mom of a 7 year old boy. She met Tiger in a Manhattan club last year, before they began a sexual relationship. Tiger reportedly flew her, all over the world to various secret hook up locations, for sex. I don't know how a single Mom is able to jet set for sex, but she was. For her to be a swimsuit model, I couldn't find a single picture of her in a swimsuit, in fact this is the only picture I was able to find of her, and she is in her Hooter's uniform. I guess hemet her there when he stopped to get soem wings. Is 31 year older a little old to old be a swimsuit model, that we have never heard of? I know Naomi Campbell still models them, andTyra did up into her 30s as well, but we heard of them. I guess not, maybe I'm being a little hard on her. This one is another example of nothing all that special about her, looks wise.
5.) Jamie Jungers...who wants to bet that wasn't her birth name, huh? She is a 26 year old lingerie model...and not a Victoria Secrets one either...those are to high class for Tiger Woods he likes the low budget lingerie models....She works for Trashy Girls Lingerie. I think that sums up everything right there. I bet when Tiger her that, he rushed her to the nearest Days Inn. No expense is to great for his Trashy Girls. He met her in Las Vegas. I will say she isn't ugly either, she a cute little blonde. In this picture at least her boobs looks real. Now the other girl in the picture, hmm not so much.
6.) Mindy Lawton. Now look at this one here. I just can't do nothing but drop my head and shake it. Are you serious Tiger...her really? She's a 33 year old waitress in Orlando. Now I have heard a few times she worked a Waffle House a few said IHOP, but now they are saying it's just an independent pancake joint. He supposedly dumped her in 2007...probably around the time he started messing with Jamie Grubbs up there in the number 2 spot. This was his only local booty that we know of so far. She was in Orlando, this was the one where Tiger was caught dropping her off at her home in a Trailer Park...hmm to easy, not even going to go there...lol He probably was dropping her off after doing her all over his estate. I believe she is the one saying they had sex all over his home...the garage, his car, outside on the lawn or something. I know a couple people who live in Trailers, they call them Double Wides though, and they are black people, just thought I would say that.
This is her all dolled up for something. Hmmm...even dolled up, she looks....ehhh...hmmm. All I have to say is beauty is definetely in the eye of the beholder. My goodness!! Oh who am I kidding she looks average at best dolled up. That stringing hair, that face...Tiger should have spent some money and got her a makeover or something. He just picks up any ole thing. I bet she give juicy sloppy blow jobs.
7.) Holly Sampson. She's the 36 year old porn star from Los Angeles. There were several pictures of her, but I decided to use one of the ones from her porno's. In this picture she looks decent enough, well for Tiger I guess and for the Adult film industry. Not like they picky, blond big fake boobs, can screw on command. I bet this was Tigers freak. I hate to stereotype her, but lets be real. She was probably the girl, with all the tricks, and the one he probably could do anything sexual he wanted. Maybe even a little Doggystyle anal action. I mean lets be real. Now it doesn't show int his picture, but other pictures I have seen, she looked a bit dried up in the face. Like she needed some moisturizer or something. I'm guessing all the moister has been sex out of her skin.
NOW WHAT HAVE WE LEARNED SO FAR...
First of all Tiger is going to cry many tears before this saga is over with, either about his career the oodles of money he might loose, or honestly his marriage. Personally I can't wait till he does it on Oprah. I hear she might get the first interview. The Big O is perfect for this.
I think we learned Tiger loves the service industry booty. All them waitresses. I hear number 8 is a cocktail waitress too. She was a waitress in the VIP lounge of some restaurant in Orlando. I think all them waitress was a big problem in his cheating. You can't just hookup with any ole white girl who serves you a beer and some pancakes. I mean you are a billionaire for Mercy sake. Cheat with some fellow billionaire/millionaire heiress or something. How about a woman with a career ant just a job. How about a chick you owns the club, not just hostess their or waitresses there.
Look at this not a black woman in the bunch. I mean really Tiger you couldn't find one mulatto...yes I said mulatto biracial Halle Berry, Mariah Carey, Paula Patton...is she mixed...looking woman to mess around with, in all those 10 women. Dang...hey what about even a Blasian woman like yourself, like Amerie. I mean not an ethnic woman in the bunch. No Asian women, No Black Women, No Latino Women...nothing. I mean you live in Florida, that's like Latino Depot. Latino and Hispanic women fresh off the boat and not the first in your 10. I guess the only ethnic women he likes is Nordac/Swedish ones or British. Hmmm
I hate to pull this white girl stereotype, but I have to say it. In the words of my Mother..."You know its because them white girls love to suck dick, right!..He love them to suck that pole of his." Now I know that's wrong, a lot of people and races engage in oral sex.....
However white girls will suck the chrome off a 1976 Cutlass Supreme, won't they?!