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After, a comment I received, on a post, from another blog. It hit me like a brick on the head, what I have went wrong on my blog about. I really don't know what my intentions were, when I started my blog, except to have a place to tell my experiences, and enter thoughts, that I don't normally express.
However I think I should take this, as an opportunity to show a different side to a downlow man. I am honest to myself and others, that I have some hoe-ish ways. I have shown that side, now maybe it's time for another.
We all have our personal reasons, as to why and how we live our lives. However, through the media, books, and the overly publicised bad examples, Downlow Black Men, are consider the scum of earth. We have been portrayed as cowardly, hurtful, lying, deceitful men, who bring Aides home to our black women. Perhaps, that might be true to some extent or in some cases, but there are exceptions to every example.
Here's the thing I hope to accomplish, through the progression of my blog. That maybe I can show the human side or perhaps, the lovable side to the downlow man. I do believe there is one.
The thing is not just straight black women are scared, and not that they don't have reason to be, because of some DL men, but a lot of out Gay men, don't like us. We are the cowards, who won't be true to ourselves and what not...yeah... yeah... I've heard it all. Maybe we are different, in ways, but at the end of the day, we both still get down, with men. However this is my new mission.
9 comments:
I don't mean to sound judgmental, because that's not what I'm trying to do. But Let me get this straight. (No pun intended.) You are downlow because you don't openly acknowledge your sexual attraction to men, or are you downlow because you have sex with both women and men, committed to neither and lying to at least one of those sexes? And which definition would show the lovable side?
I'm w/curious on some of the questions. But moreso, here's the thing about your blog - do you! It's your piece of the pie and you can take your fork and indulge any way you see fit.
Curious I completely get where you are coming from. I know it may be hard to understand or ration, butI guess you will just have to see. Just for the general information. I would never get with different genders at the same time, or in a period of time, that's not me.
Thanks Darius, I've done me. At least I've tried to be. I will continue to! I've indulged enough in one way, lets see if I can in other ways.
We'll wait to see the changes. I honestly would like to read more about your life than just the sex you have and the guys you run into.
I make it a point not to judge people by how they live their lives because I have a life of my own. In that tone, I enjoy reading your blog to get your perspective on the life of a DL man.
I think DL guys would be more understood if they were more open about there lives. You can help by letting people know through your blog that you are just another normal person.
TDRT- Thanks, but I do right about more than sex, but at that particular days, that's what went down. I was just telling it, like it was. THere are other things that go on in my life, but t he one thing I really don't get a chance to do, is talk about my sex life. It was like a little relief.
There are other things I would like to mention, but I just don't want to throw all my hoe-ish behavior, especially since I'm changing.
Well, you really have a TASK ahead of yourself.
I'm actually really interested in knowing how men on the "DL" view themselves and their lives.
Is being on the "DL" a fancy term for being "In the closet"?
;-)
I've been reading your posts from the most recent backwards and from what i've read so far i would not consider you DL, very closeted perhaps but not DL.
To me DL is putting effort into pretending to be something you are not (sometimes even deluding yourself) as opposed to simply hiding a part of yourself from others. To me they are vastly different things and from what I've read so far you seem to be the latter. Being closeted has the potential to be unhealthy but as long as you are honest with yourself and the people you are involved with sexually then there is far less potential for hurting others (or even yourself).
I detest the term DL and what it stands for but of course, as with everything else, it means different things to different people. I know you didn't ask but the other thing that makes me hate the term is the fact that people just pick it up and use it (much like generalisations and stereotypes) without giving it much thought, primarily because it's sort of the "in" thing.
Anyway my point is (in response to the blog title) yes i hate "downlow" but i don't hate you and i don't see you as DL because even though you describe yourself as "hoeish", people who are out or some level of closeted or heteros male & female do the same thing,they just get it a different way.
Well I would like to say that this DL thing is wrong! It's disgusting and you men only do it because you have repulsive sexual appetites. Face it, you've been bit by the LUST bug. Sex is supposed to be about love and passion, God created it for a married man and woman. I dated a "preacher" who was on the downlow, so I know a little about this whole thing. First of all, if you know you have this PROBLEM. Then do not date anybody because your going to hurt them. Dont give me that "I grew up without a positive male figure" crap because you're not the only one and not every man without one is sleeping with another dude you freaks!! comments? email me: shugapoetry@yahoo.com
Well im just like something has to give. Everyone of these blogs that I have read of DL men is about nothing but sex. I mean are yall some kind of jack rabbits or something. If you do not want to viewed that way, then you must show what is meaningful to you. I think that a lot of these men from what I have read enjoy being the JUGGLER and juggling the straight life and the gay life and being able to manipulate both at their finger tips.
Im not your father so I dont want this to be like im pointing my finger at you, but I am looking at you dead in your eye with these words. I get that you are struggling with your sexuality but how many will you have to hit and quit and possibly hurt before you realize what you want? It seems like they will always be waiting on you to make the full commitment and thats not fair to them.
It seems like all these sexual encounters relieve your APPETITE for the male form but it can never be satisfied. It feels like these men are just OBJECTS like you just pick them up and fuck em and play with em when you get ready to. It's sad that most DL men come off that way and I dont think they are really DL..I just think they are some horny ass rabbits and cant seem to stop lusting so hard. It never really gets you anywhere cause you never slow down.
Again you may be different but youre gonna have to shape up soon cause youre gonna meet someone that you really love or like and they wont be able to deal with this DL thing and you will have to choose.
This is my backwards reading...i will go on more and more. But its not worth it living your life on the DL...youll look back as you get older and want to kick yourself for not stepping on the pedal then and doing your own thing.
*DELLA!
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