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Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Okay, So I Might Kinda Sorta Be A Stalker


I had this post that I had been working on for quite some time. It just wasn't happening. It was suppose to be like an introduction into the new year. Well I just couldn't get my thoughts and words out like I wanted to in my mind. After a couple of weeks of it just not happening I have decided to scrap it all together and talk about what's going on with me right now. Hey that post just isn't meant to be...like so many post I still have in draft mode. If y'all knew how many post don't actually get published. Anyway here is what's going on right now.

I have kinda become a stalker. Not on purpose, it just kinda happened. It's not as bad as it seems. Stalker is such a harsh word. You know how these things start. You have someone on your mind and you drive around their house and you mean to go to hte door and knock to see if they are home and well instead you just sit outside and watch the house...multiple times of course. As I'm writing this I feel I need to explain quickly. The person I'm stalking is Von...or shall I say WAS stalking was Von. I'm not doing it anymore, so past tense is needed.

After the "I need some Great Sex or a Great Sexual Experience" post I decided one night to go see Von. I didn't have his number. Which is very strange considering as much as I hooked up and hung out with him last summer. I didn't post about Von, like I meant to, but I could write a good couple weeks worth of post, when it comes to Von, he is such a... character. Here's the strange thing when it comes to me. I will save a guys' number that I hooked up with once or a one night stand type thing, but I guy I see multiple times, their number usually never gets saved. Since Von was always calling, I never thought about saving his number. Eventually though in August, he stopped calling, and eventually his number was pushed out of my call history. I really didn't think about it because of all I was going through, in the fall, that I hadn't talked to him in a minute. Didn't have his number, so I decided to take a drive or to his house. Now Von comes from one of those neighborhood, that everybody seems to hangout on the front stoop. Last summer when ever I would go over to his house. It seems that there was always someone hanging outside. I would ask them is Von home, some little kid would go inside and Von would come out... or I would call and he would know when to be outside. Flash forward to now it's winter and no one seems to be hanging outside. I see lights on and everything, but here's the thing. I couldn't seem to get out and walk to the front door and knock on it. I felt stupid, knock on it and say what "Can Von come out and play?" So after debating about it for a while. I decided to leave it alone.

However this was not the last time I did this. I did it a couple more times in January too. It just felt awkward every time I got there. One time they were even having, what seems like a party. This seems like it would be the perfect time to knock on the door and look for him. I just chickened out again. I don't know why it bothered me so much to knock on the door, especially since I have met a lot of his family, his grandfather, a sister and her kids, cousin, and his uncle who I spent plenty of time with. I had been invited my his uncle to cookouts and the 4th of July party and everything...all of which I declined. They just thought I was one of his niggas from around the way. However, I just felt if I knocked on the door, it would be like a big whirling sign on my forehead, that said, "I'm here to see Von, so we can get Down and Freakay!"

So one the forth time...and yes I was counting how many times my silly ass was going over there, chickening out, and sitting in front of their house... well like a stalker. The stalker element came to a climax feeling...when some woman, not sure if it was his mother or his sister looked out the window. I made eye contact with them freaked out and sped off. As I drove off I made up my mind, that I was going to write Von off. I didn't have his number and he wasn't calling me, so leave it alone.

I'm at a stop light a couple blocks from Von house. It's a long stoplight. I'm laughing at myself and what I was just did, when I see this guy walking up the street. I'm like dang, he really must be on my mind, because this guy walking up the street looks to me like Von. He's kinda far away though. As he gets closer, he really looks like Von, expect he looks taller. His walk and the way he carries himself looks awfully familiar...a slow drag with a slight bounce. He gets to the stop light and looks to his left and to his right... where I am still waiting on the light. He crosses the street and in front of my car. I'm thinking though if this is Von, wouldn't he recognize my car and me. He did tell me he had a brother who looks like him, and this guy does seem taller. I roll down the window though, and I call his name. His head goes all around like whose calling my name. I say, "Von over here!" He spots me, and walks over casually, and gives me a half smile, and says, "What's good Young?" Right then after all this time the light turns green. I tell him to jump. Thinking he was going to run to the passenger side, he jumps into the back seat. As I pull off from the stoplight, his big ass hurdles across my front seats, into the passenger seats... like it's nothing. So here resumes what he is saying. He says, "So what are you doing on my side of town." We live on completely opposite sides of town. I couldn't very well tell him I came over here to see him, so I tell him I had business to take care of over here...at 9 o'clock at night. He believes it though. He then asks me, "So are you done, with your business stuff?" I smile and tell him, "Yeah, I'm done."

THere is moret o this night I might add it later!