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Tuesday, December 23, 2008

EbeNegro Scrooge


For some reason, this year,I can not get into the Christmas spirit. I truly feel like saying, "Bah HUMBUG!!!" I just am sick of it all. There use to be a time, that I loves this time of the year. Nothing I loved more than riding around looking at Christmas lights. I loved decorating our house for Christmas..liked having a better yard, than the neighbors, and them trying to step it up the following year, but us stepping it up even more the following. I loved shopping for others, picking out the perfect gift. I don't know, but shopping, is one thing i can do. I can pick out usually the perfect gift for someone. Either something they need, or something, they truly should have.I love the Winter, so this holiday, always felt right, made me feel warm inside. I love Christmas albums, my favorite being Bebe and Cece Winans' First Christmas. I love my family getting together, and having it's annual family argument about something from something cultural...to political...to biblical. Getting up and getting what I wanted, or what I asked for..or some years, what I bought on my parents credit card, and wrapped myself and put, "From them, To me" on it...last year they were generous...lol
However this year, for the life of me, I can not get into the Christmas spirit. I don't want to buy squat for nobody. Maybe it's years of me picking out the perfect gift and in return I get the disappointment gift. Screw that whole it was the thought that count bull shit, because to be honest for some I wonder what exactly was the thought. Last year, for some there was no thought at all...how do I know, because with my gift, came no gift from them...I got a few, "I got your gift coming after Christmas," and come February still nothing. I know this season is about giving and not receiving, but sometimes...I'm just tired of giving and not receiving. It kind of makes me feel like I love you, more than you love me. Don't get me wrong I know some don't have it to give, but...every year?... and well this year I'm joining the club. It's not only that I don't feel like picking out anything or even going to the mall, and thinking about someone else this year.

I don't give a rats fat ass about Christmas decorations...I wouldn't even put up a Christmas tree, if not coerce to. At times I feel like I can't wait to the new year gets here. A part of me wouldn't mind seeing some of my family, but a part of me is like if their nappy ass says one thing to me, is on like Donkey Kong...come on say something to me...I wish you would... I wish your black ass would! And if I here Donny Hathaway sing "This Christmas" one more time!, let alone Chris Brown with his little rendition...Boys II Men you too, take your Holy Night and Let it Snow asses and shove it... Micheal, you Jermaine and Tito take Jackie and Marlon and take that "I saw Mommy kissing Santa Clause" to next year, because this year, I ain't having it. I can't stand to see one more Christmas movie or song nothing. Take it away. I'm just not in the mood.

The only reason I have even been to the mall, is to buy my Aunt Cece gifts, to her grandchildren...My first cousins children. She says she don't know about Nintendo DS games...that's how it started, then it went from that, to while you are out...pick up this for me. I then bought here presents to her in laws, then for my other cousins, her other grandchildren, who are a 15 and 16 a boy and a girl..."You will know what the young kids are wearing more than I would and you have good taste...here's the budget go for it"

Why is it you always run into someone, you haven't seen in awhile, on the day you are looking your roughest. That's another thing I hate about this holiday, it brings people out to shop, that maybe you wouldn't normally see. So I'm in Express looking for a skirt for my 15 year old cousin. I see a girl I haven't seen, since literally the day we graduated...I wasn't looking completely tore up, but I was looking rough. I hadn't shaved in a minute...I just wasn't looking like I would want to look after not seeing some one for over 4 years. I tried to hide as she pass by me, and I thought I was cool until I take a pair of pants up to the counter, to ask a question about them. That's when I realize she worked there. She was busy with other customers, but noticed me, when her manager singled me out about the pair of pants I brought up, she told me that I wouldn't want to buy those, because when the sweat, they smell like fish...I left that comment and those pants alone. However of course Arie noticed me then, and I had to say hi. Her nickname in high school was black barbie, because she actually looked like the black barbie...From the hair, which was real down her back...to her smile...to her perfect C cup breast...she just looked it. It's ironic, but it was this same time our junior year in high school that I bought her a Christmas/Birthday gift. She asked me to get her a red corvette car...model size of course, and my black ass did it, I believe I paid $30 dollars for that car too. However on mine, I got a empty handed "Happy Birthday Young!" Hmmm...Anyway I feel like I have gotten off the subject at hand. I picked out a nice skirt, and called it a day, but not before running into two more people at different malls actually. I knew better, you never know who you will run it.

Part of it, is that people owe me money, why should I buy you something, when you owe me money! You know the only person I have not felt bad enough not to give to is the Salvation army. I have given good to them this year. I feel so guilty passing those bell ringers, without putting at least a dollar in. One day I had put a dollar in every place I went. I think at the end of that day, it was like 8 dollars. One day I tried to walk into a grocery store, without making eye contact with the bell ringer, and this negro had the nerve to single me out. He yells "Hey Brotha, Happy Holidays!" Can you believe him! I look around and there is white people walking in the same times as me, but he singles me out. I gave him a buck going in and coming out the store...damnit!

The only shopping I really have done for myself, is for myself. That's when I realize, I have got to go back to the gym.I haven't been to the gym in like 2 and half months, plus I have been eating comfort foods, which isn't bad it you work it off, so your boy has put on some weight back on. It feels like it just flew back on, I look swollen. I was going to the gym the other day, when I realize I had to renew my contract, the end of November. I'm going to wait until Christmas Eve, because I saw on the Today show, that Christmas and New Year's Eve, are the best times of the Year to join or renew your contract at the Gym, because it's the absolute slowest days at the gym, and they usually have quotas to feel a day, so they will do whatever to keep your business or get it, on those days. That's another thing about running into people during the holidays.

I will have to admit one thing. Things did change for minute. When I finally decorated and lit the tree Friday. I did get that holiday warmness, when I look at it...Maybe you just have to force yourself, and the spirit will come!

Anyway, I hope y'all all have a great holiday, I guess my next post will be the First of the year, more likely...who knows. I hope everybody in blog world has a great and safe holiday!

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

I need some Great Sex or a Great Sexual Experience

I am going to postpone my regular post for a few, and write this much need post. I feel that if I put it out there in the universe, then maybe it will come to me or something.


I feel that I am in the need for some Great sex...I will even seddle for good. Now don't get me wrong or anything, it's not like I'm horny or anything...I gets mine. It's not like I need sex, but I feel like I need some GREAT sex. I'm talking about that right eye fluttering...left eye closed...left leg shacking...right leg stiff as a board...nails in your back and I just want to dig into you, because I can't stand the pleasure...shallow, yet at the same time heavy breathing...say my name, because literally for a moment I can't remember my own name... I know what Floetry meant, all I want to do is say yes... yes...y-e-s hitting absolutely all the right spots...I think my name starts with a C...I just want to do nasty things back to you...or maybe it was a K...did I mention yes baby type of Good Sex. I just feel like I'm having some hum drum...beige...I really don't like you, but you have the right things needed for the moment type of sex. I don't know when the last time I've had some good sex. I want to say early summer, perhaps late spring. His name was Treyquan or something with a T...I remember he had gold grills, in his mouth. I remember, because he was the first and to this day only guy I have been with, who had gold grills, and I believe he kept them in the whole time we got busy too. I thought he was going to take them out, but he never did. I thought that it was going to be a challenge for him to do something, but no the boy had some skills....I lost his number...if I would have know that that was the last time I had some amazing... how yah do, then I would have guarded his number like Hope freaking diamond I tell yah.

Now for some of you who think any sex is Great sex...well then...good for you, but for me I know the difference. It reminds me about a couple of months ago on Chris Rocks last comedy special To Kill the Messenger...he goes on to say that men have two types of climaxes. They have the ketchup type of climax, where...well we all grown here, so I will say it...ejaculation... comes out slow and like ketchup...blop...blop...blop. I feel like that's what I have been having. Then you have the other type of climax, that shoots out like a civil rights hose, and screams "Free at last...Free at last... Thank God almighty I'm Free at last!" However some people think, if a guy ejaculates, then everything is honky dorey...everything is all good in the city...uh not necessarily. Chris Rock also goes on about, "Just because he cums, doesn't mean you made him come!". He talks about how women think just because a man cums, then everything is good. Here's the thing I think some men who get down, think the same thing. Let me let you all in on a little secret...sometimes...it's...just... some...good..ole...enough...FRICTION!

The Fall and Winter is my favorite time of the year.I love the crisp weather and whatnot, but it's like the freaks go into hibernation for the winter , and won't be back until the spring. Now I guess I should be thankful, I'm getting what I'm getting but, but it just feels so blah. I mean it's just nothing to write home about..not saying I would write home about it, if it was great, but just not good. Now don't get me wrong I have had several civil rights explosions, but they were with Triple M...Me,Myself,and Moi. I think there is a problem, when I have a better orgasm by myself, than with someone else... then it's like what's the point of a sexual partner. It just feels like I need more of something I'm not getting.

That's how I felt when I was messing around with Von, that something wasn't quite being satisfied. However my experiences with Von was always great. Now I know I didn't go much into Von or talk about him much and me and him..well I meant too but never got around to posting about it. I messed around with Von for minute. Anyway even though he never took me to that Great sex climax, our sexual experience were HOT and Great. I don't know how to explain it. It's like Great sex is the techniques... the movements... the skills... the things done. Great Sexual Experience, is the person... the passion... the beginning and the becoming of the sex... the intense feeling... the attraction.

So I'm not completely on the search for a Great orgasm, a Great Sexual Experience will do. To be honest some of my most rememberable and Greatest Sexual Experiences, didn't always end with me ejaculated at all. Vice versa too...not all of my great sex involved a Great Sexual Experience. Like that Treyquan person although the sex was great, the experience was, lack luster to say the least...it was just two niggas hooking up.

Here's the thing, whether it is Great sex or a Great Sexual Experience, I'm not having either one and I need one or the other. I would love, if I could have both, and not for just one night either, for a consecutive period of time. I think it's about time. I just going to put it out there and hope it comes to me.

Anyway back to our regularly schedule post in a few...

Monday, December 8, 2008

Blog A.D.D. but I'm Back!


First and foremost, let me say thank you, for your prayers and concerns. They meant a lot to me. Second, I know I have been M.I.A. for minute, but I just been going through a lot and well I just didn't feel like blogging. I know I left a lot of you on hangin, but...well is that anything new from me. I'm sure some of you thought I was dead, for future reference if it goes two months without a word from me...then..well that's not good. It hasn't been two months with a word form me this time, but think about that for next.

Now I don't know what was going on with me, but when I finally was ready to blog I couldn't stay focus. I was all over the place in topics, and even just trying to stay focus on the post below.I know it's a long one, but what can I say! It was a long day. It took me forever to get all my thought down on that post below. I couldn't stay focus for the life of me. After received an email from a fellow blogger this week, I decided I had to stay focus enough to finish that post...and well a week later here we are...I'm telling you it is hard as hell to get back in the groove.

Now Since I have been a way, I really hadn't been in he mood to read every one's blog...well no one's blog actually. However I plan on catching up with every one's post..in due time people. I have a lot of reading to do. It started with me not feeling like it a first, then it went to me thinking I should post first before commenting on others, and I couldn't stay focus, therefore I wasn't reading.

Anyway your favorite Down and Dirty Lover Boy's Back!

P.S. and can someonoe help me fix my blog, with one click I screw the whole thing up and and I can't remember how to get it back, it feels off balance!

Not ready to be an Orphan...Part I


I can't believe the words that are coming out of his mouth. "She has three blockages, one 70%, one being 80% , and one being 90%, we are most likely looking at having to operate".... I can't believe that just a few minutes ago I was laughing and making jokes and now, I'm hearing words, that could shatter my world.

Let me start at the beginning... so a couple of weeks ago, my mother feels this sharp tingly feeling flow for a minute down her neck for a minute. Most wouldn't give it another thought, if that was the only time, and never happened again, even she had thought this. However there was something about this feeling, that made her nervous, and she felt that she needed to get it checked out. She went in for a physical, where they didn't find anything unusual, but they thought she needed more test. Those test is what led to the ultimately cardiac catherization test. This is a procedure, where they go through your upper leg pelvic region, and I believe shoot ink through your veins or something like that to check your arteries and check blockage and heart valves. It's an out patient procedure, where the patients is awake the whole time, and done by a cardiologist. It's only like 45 mins long, but takes like 4 hours to recover to be able to leave.

She is suppose to have someone there the whole time and to take her home, because she can't drive after the procedure. So me and one of my aunts go, and a family friend comes for support. We sit in the waiting room for a little while, and me and the family friend go down to the cafeteria, until she gets out, to grab something to drink, and see what they have to eat. We don't eat anything, grab our drinks, and I suggest, we run up to the maternity floor and check out the babies. I don't have much experience with the maternity floor, but I imagined it being like on television and busy nurse desk and men rushing their women to the desk, with comments, like "Her contractions are 3 mins apart", or something like that. Nurses rushing the pregnant women to delivery rooms, and stuff like that. However, that is not what I got, that maternity ward was so quite and dull, nothing like I thought it would be.I mean it wasn't like it was some small hospital in the middle of the sticks, kinda of the opposite. There is only one family in the waiting room watching "The View", waiting for their known mother to be, to deliver, and then there is only one nurse at the nurse desk, at a computer, looking like she is checking her email or Myspace page instead of anything to do with pregnant women, I bet. We go to the nursery, and I'm expected all the babies in the window, with name tags like "Baby Girl Jones", "Baby Boy Newman", but what I got was a nursery, with a black curtain drawn, and a sign saying,"Shhhh...please be considerate, babies are sleeping, even they need to get their sleep". I take a peek through the side of the curtain, that really gave me a good look, and I don't see any babies, but one, that was in an incubator. I go to the nurse desk, and ask her "Why are y'all perpetrating, like y'all have babies, when there isn't, and with some sign acting like there is, but they are sleep?" She tells me something about they are with they mommas. I was like why not just say that, what's up with the big cover up. As we get on the elevator we are laughing about the whole experience.


When we are back to the floor, that my mother is on, we see my aunt isn't in the waiting room anymore, so we go to the recovery room, my mother is suppose to be after the procedure, and as we are coming in, my aunt is leaving. The minute she sees us, she starts to cry, she wasn't crying until she saw us. See this aunt has the unbelievable talent to cry in 0 to 180, in a drop of a dime. She says she can't handle this. I rush pass her, to see what is going on. The doctor is their talking to my mother, he introduces himself to me, and he proceeds, to explain to me that my mother has three blocked arteries. As he is explaining the percentages blocked, it almost feels like a surreal moment. It was like not my mother...I just knew without that they were not going to find anything...I can't be hearing him correctly...Oh my god, I'm not ready to be an orphan.As he continues to talk, I just look at her lying there quietly, she hadn't said anything since we came in and she introduced me to the doctor. She just looks back at me, no more words exchanged. The family friend ask him, "So what do we do about this?" He then explains that we have three options. The first, is to do nothing, which he feels is not in the best interest, but it is still an option...Next!... Option two, is that they could but stints in...I can't remember exactly what he said they do, but I do remember that he said one of her blockages, the 90% one, was located in an area, where they wouldn't be able to put a stint in...Okay next...Option three, to have a Triple bypass surgery. They will open her up, take veins from her leg, and use them to reconfigure her heart, and take the veins and bypass over the blockages literally.

"It has a greater risk than the first two options, but it has a greatest reward too", is how the doctor explained it. However, those same thoughts kept running through my mind...I'm not ready to be an orphan! I heard someone tell my mother years ago, when my grandmother died, that no matter what age you are, once your parents die, you are technically an orphan, whether you are 5 or 55 you are technically an orphan. I don't know what it was about that moment, that made me remember that. It was at that moment, I truly realized, how much growing,I still had to do, and I wasn't ready for her to leave my life now. After about 5 minutes, of theses thoughts and feelings, I knew it was times to bring them into check. I don't know how my face looked, but I knew I had to reel my thoughts in...I kept telling myself she will be fine...I'm not ready for her to go, and God knows it, he knows he can't leave me alone with my family... and she just retired a year and half ago...she can't die after just retiring, she is suppose to get a few more years of relaxation and comfort...She will be fine, she has to be. I hadn't said anything this whole time, but I know it's showtime. I through on a warm smile, the best I can and I keep it together. She does the exact same thing, both of us trying to protect the other, both trying to be strong for the other. I tell her I'm going to go check on my Aunt Ina. I go out to the waiting room and I see that she is still crying, but on some strange woman's arms. I ask her, "Whose is this?" She stops crying for a moment, she looks at me and then at the woman and says "I don't know" Then starts crying again, the woman's arms wrapped around her shoulder's and gently patting her. Irritated now, I'm thinking to myself, we just can't take you anywhere, can we?

Not to long later, my other aunt calls, to see how things went. I answer it and tell her, what I had just learned. She ask me what is ruckus in the background, I tell her that it's her sister crying like a baby, she just sighs, and I can feel her eyes rolling over the phone, but she doesn't say anything, that's my Aunt CeCe's style, there is a time and place for true comments. She asks me am I crying too, I tell her no, and she says good, someone should be strong and have some sense at this time, for my mother. I get off the phone with her and now my Aunt Ina, is crying and on the shoulder with the family friend. As I sit on the window seal and look down at the busyness of the lobby, I hear my Aunt Ina, crying and going on to the family friend about how first her brother and now my mother she can't handle all that is going on in our family right now. The family friend said "But his surgery was two years ago, he's good now, right?" I turn my head to see was exactly she will say. Just as the tears started they stop. She looks at me and I look back at her, nothing said, but we both know that we are thinking the same thing. Yes my uncle did have this same surgery, but this is the same surgery that he needed the pain pills, which led to the relapse of a 15 year drug recovery. Yes... the same uncle from the journey post I wrote about a couple months ago. She looks at me and tells her, "You're right, he's fine now." Keeping the real truth where it belongs for the time being.

A hour or so, into the recovery time, I'm out in the waiting room, with the family friend. I've been in my own little world since the news. They are in a deep conversation, with a young woman also in the waiting room. She is waiting to take her catherization test. Turns out that two months ago this woman had three stints put in after she had two heart attacks. She had been walking around after having two heart attacks, but thinking she had just the flu. At 37 she was rushed to the emergency room after passing out at work, that's when the realized she had had heart attacks that week and didn't even know it. She was there with her older brother. I really didn't pay much attention to him, until he mentions how the smell of ammonia was still on his hands. The hands...that's what I noticed first about him. These thick long vein red hands. Then I noticed the rest when he got up and went to the bathroom down the hall to wash them. Sexy red bone man about in his early 40, the edges of a man, that was definitely rough. When he returns I really notice him. I can tell that in his younger years he was definitely a hottie, but even in his early 40s he has this cute child like sexiness. However I shrug off those thoughts and go back to thinking about things I know, we are going to have to do, before the surgery. I know my mother and I know she has her to do list already.

When the family friend leaves, because of an appointment, she has, I then begin to talk to the sister of sexy red bone. Well I should say, she was talking to me. Her brother was in grossed in a episode of Jerry Springer. I thought people was over that show, in the late 90s. She is telling me how, she is ready to get back to work and whatnot, and hope, everything is okay now. How a couple of their siblings has had health problems like this already. Apparently the really two healthy ones is the brother beside her and the 400 pound brother, who even though is rather large, is quite healthy...um okay. I ask sexy red bone, that even though he doesn't have any symptoms, since it's obviously running in their family, is he going to get checked out. He says, no because he has always been small, and that he eats well do to time he spent away...code for this nigga been to prison. I tell him that being small has nothing to do with it, his sister is small, big booty, but actually a small build woman. When his sister goes in for her procedure, his bounces to go get something to eat.

Me and my aunt alternate being company in my moms recover, she is only allowed one person at a time in her recovery room. When I'm in there, just like I expected she is running down the to do list before she goes into the surgery. "We got to get on the ball for the annual fall upkeep, have to call Kenny(our painter for years) to come out and paint the shutter and doors, than my new room hasn't been painted yet...then we have to call Phil to aerate the yard and seed and fertilized before it gets any later in the year... I want the driveway to be sealed.." I mention how she did that in February, and she says, she wants it shinning, for when guest come and visit her in her recovery. I leave it at that. "... I need to call the furniture store when we get home and tell them to cancel the order for the chair I just bought, I guess it's a good thing I refinished that room upstairs, I'm going to need it now, not going to be doing to much going up and down the stairs for a while. You are going to have to take care of everything..."

45 mins later I'm back in the waiting room, when sexy red bone returns...damn this nigga is hot. He has a bag full of chips and soda and cookies. I mention how I thought he was going out for lunch, not snack time. He mentions how, he wanted some McDonald's, but he had been driving around the area, and couldn't find one, and how he didn't want to drive away to far, because technically he wasn't suppose to leave anyway. I mention that there is a McDonald's, in the area, that was actually quite close, is ask where, I say down stairs on the first floor. He looks at me crazy, and I tell him that the hospital has its own McDonald's as well as a cafeteria. We talk some more, now about Maury, now that that it's on. He mentions how he knows someone who was on Maury about being some girl's baby daddy. I ask who...he says, his former cell mate, he "Was Not the father" by the way. Bingo though,I knew he had been to prison. I ask for drugs, I can be bold like that at times. He says yeah once for drugs distribution, and the other for assault. All together he was in jail for I believe 8 or 9 years. in my mind, I'm thinking... My experience has told me that guys who have been to prison for more than five years, have a high chance of a past of getting down with other guys. I ask him a couple questions about prison, the fact that he is 40 and no kids or a current wife, is divorced though...lmao...I mean I was fishing for a clue that he has gotten with a guy before.

I got up to go to the bathroom, and that's when I noticed that sexy red bone had given me a semi hard on.Hoping he is so engrossed in Maury he doesn't notice through my polyester long gym pants, that I was wearing, but I think he did. Anyway, I return and after adjusting and well...getting myself back down. I don't remember exactly but we got on the topic about life. Perhaps us being in a hospital..anyway, we are more specifically talking about types of people in life, and how they live them. I think it stemmed from one of my questions about prison. Either way he started talking about how you have people who live on the rails and those who live in their shell. Tis post is already a couple paragraphs past too long, so let me try to sum this up nice a sweet. Because of the way he was raise poor, with a single mother, and quite a few siblings, he had to grow up fast, and learned to live life on the edge, i.e. selling drugs and etc. The etc. is what I was interested in. Blah blah... he makes the statement that he can tell I am a "Shell" person. He continues that I am the type of person that take be cause to really way the pros and cons of things. That I just don't do things, I think about them greatly...that I worry about the right thing first instead of just doing things...that I worry about what people will say...worry about the repercussions of the situation first, before anything else. All I can say, is that "What makes you so sure, you got me pinned?" Meanwhile I'm thinking Dang, is that me? Am I a Shell person. He then starts to question me like I was doing to him earlier, about what makes me not a "shell" person. It's as if he is testing me. I want so badly to ask him to meet me in the bathroom, and just do some crazy as things. It was as if he knew that's what I wanted too and he wanted to prove he was right. He then says,"Face it you are are one of those people who doesn't worry about what makes you happy, but about making the right decision, and what people will think or what will happen if you make the wrong decision. I do what I want, and don't give a damn what some one says about it.I done almaost everything imaginable, I don't put all my businessout there, but I don't care what someone is going to think or say either. It was as if he was reading my mind, because I was struggling with myself, in making a move or not. I kept thinking, I've never been that bold with some guy, that I didn't know for sure got down...well at least not during day hours. Then there was the whole my mother, and what was going on with her, this was inappropriate what I was thinking or what I wanted to do, but then again sex does make me feel better. Then there was the fact that my family was just in the next room, what if he didn't get down and the assault part of him comes out...what if even though though it was a very quite men's bathroom, I mean I think we were the only men who had used it, in all these hours...what if we got caught, and my family got whiff of it. I can't let my secret out like that. I can't be careless this close to home. This debate was just going through my mind. As I got quite he leans back with a slight smirk, as if he knew what I was thinking and that he was right. My leg is bouncing hard. I want to prove him wrong, although he is right...His eyes go back to the T.V...I think to myself Oh screw it, I'm going for it!...Right then like on cue or something the nurse comes out and calls him in, his sister is out of her procedure. He gets up and I'm left in my shell.

A little while later it is time for us to take my mother home. On to another obstacle...

Solange is definetely a Soul Angel


Solange's "Sol-angel and the Hadley St. Dreams" was my "Album of Heavy Rotation" for a number of reasons. I'm sorry I'm glad I finally have a singer who is Black, who is doing big things in the 60and 70's retro music craze. I'm sorry but I don't get what the big hype was about Amy Whinehouse. Here we have a black song bird flowing from her true essence of the Motown sound in her sophomore album. I'm not going to lie , I wasn't the biggest Solonage fan before her first single off this album "I Decided," which is a retro vibe to the 60's girl groups, yet at the same time refreshing. I wasn't the biggest fan, because I didn't like her, but because I really didn't remember her singles from her first album. My other favorites would have to be her opening song "God Given Name," which is a song about how she is solo, and basically not her sister, and that she knows she will never be Beyonce' nor will never be her, so stop comparing. In my opinion this is one Knowles I like. My next would be "T.O.N.Y." This is about a one night stand, I couldn't help but get hooked. I found myself humming this the other week, and it took me a minute to realize what it was. She can very much carry her own on this album. She has great producers, and this was a real effort on her part. She has some great work on here.


My "Ah that's my Jam" of the moment is T-Pain's "Can't believe It" featuring Lil' Wayne. Love this song! This song is really going to make me by the album. I have really not bought a T- Pain album before, but I think I'm going to be broke down, after his new singles. Love the almost children's lullaby vibe beat. He really does have a way of producing songs that just stick to you.

My "Ah that's my Jam II" of the moment is the Jonas Brother's "Burnin Up" I am really feeling these white boys. Now I'm not any little white teenage girl fanatic about them, but this is a great song. I don't know which one it is doing the lead, but lovin' the vocals, I do think they are some cute white boys. They got me burnin'up.

My Throwback of the Moment would definitely have to go one of my favorite girl groups Xscape's "Hummin' Comin' At Cha'" This is one of those albums, that has a decent song on every track. I definitely think I love their low tempo songs the best though, like "Understanding" and "With you". Some could say that it would be easy to mess of the Legendary Clark Sister's classic "Is my living in vain," but they pulled it off wonderfully showing their true gospel roots. I think I love "Just kickin it" the remix better though.


My Inspirational Album of the Moment is 21:03's "Total Attention." Gospel's all around producer and a song writer J. Moss's protege's are back with their sophomore album. I feel that with this album the group is one step forward out of walking out of J. Moss heavy influence, however his presence is still very much felt through this album, but not quite as much as the first album. This album is very much what J.Moss and PAJAM wants for the group, gospel music for the masses. You have a little of everything on this album. They open the album with some old school gospel remake of a classic, "Riverside," which I would have to say is one of my favorites off the album. My next favorite, would be their next track, the first single, the high tempo "You" As the album progresses you feel the gospel for the masses as it becomes more pop-ish with heavy acoustic and more softer delivery than most gospel singer...christian music than gospel, like in the songs "Free" and "Cover Me". However I still love the harmonies boys. I think they can really sing and mesh well.