The Dreaded Third Wheel, In My Threesome!

Literally a few hours ago, I just came in from a threesome. This would be my second one. Now I don't know that any of my current readers were around for my post of my first threesome, but it actually happened the night I first started to blog. It wasn't my first post but my second and third. Anyway I count that as one of my greatest sexual experiences. This post was actually suppose to be about Von. I hadn't talked much about him at all, but he's still around. I've been trying to work on that post since like Sunday, but I get distracted by something else, and it unfortunately never got finished. So to not distract myself, by other blogs. I had made myself not comment or view other blogs, until I wrote a post of my own. That's why I may have been AWOL or a no show from my regular blogs. However today I'm going to try my best to make comments and reads. There is so much that has been going on with me in the last few weeks, and I wish I could find the time...well there is time, so find the discipline to write the things down. So many things I wanted to talk about. I believe those things and events is what led to the events of tonight.

I'm not going to go into those things..at least not right now, but I think my actions have all spawn from my last book of the moment, Pleasures by Eric Jerome Dickey. I did finally finish it, but like many things haven't gotten around to posting my book review. Anyway I will just say this it for some reason left me energized to have a...I guess ultimate sexy, sensuous, pleasurable sex life. I mean it really left me feeling sexy. So for the past couple of weeks, I have been trying to have a more adventurous approach and attitude to fulfill pleasure in my life...well sexually. What I got was one crazy mix up disastrous adventure after the other. In the end it all left me feeling sexually jinx and product of bad karma...and so on. That is until tonight.

I went to the gym late last night..why I really don't know. I guess I just had to get out. I really wasn't in the mood to work out, and I guess I was just messing around in the gym . Not really working up a sweat. I guess I was a little sexually frustrated, and thought that this would be a good release. I wasn't so much frustrated from not having sex, but so many close calls in the past few weeks and nothing to show for it...meaning either no sex, or no "climax," exactly. Instead of going back home, I decided to hit this hot spot, that your bound to hook up with someone. It's actually not to far from the area I met the guys from my first threesome. I call it my DL hookup area. There is this gay bar, that is in the middle of a lot of nightlife. You have restaurants and bars, and straight clubs right around this gay club. It's also right beside a college area, so depending on the nights, the area is packed. Now I have found that because of these reasons, you are bound to find someone whether DL, Discreet, or Out...Straight, Bi, Bi- Curious, Or the other "Straight"...all in this area. Why I decided to head out there on a Wednesday night beats me, usually the area isn't banging until Thursday. I guess I was looking for a hot random meeting, that would lead to something else.

I'm going to try and keep this short and sweet. I met this guy Sean, who actually I met briefly earlier this year. I gave him my number he didn't call, said tonight that he actually wanted to call, but he lost the piece of paper that I wrote my number on...blah blah blah...sure whatever, you want to do something tonight, since we never met to hookup or to at least see what was up, when we met earlier this year. He says sure...he is cute I liked him. We leave his car parked as he gets into my car, and I guess drive around. Just talking at first, and then without looking at me he creeps his hands across my arm rest and plays with my hand, while looking outside the passenger window. Never looking at me. While he his hand plays with my pinky finger, I move this party to a hold new level. I boldly reach other and grab his crotch. Yeah I know.... real subtle. I just wasn't in a playing quo mood. I had one thing on my mind... my climax, and just finally having a sexual experience follow through.

Well not to long after we leave, Sean spots this SUV at a stoplight he saw earlier. Wonder why this SUV has been circling the block over and over again and stopping randomly. I mention that I saw the SUV earlier too, and I think that the driver is looking to get into something. When he saw the person earlier that night, he thought it was a big girl, from all the long braids. I correct him, and tell him that it is a guy with long dreads,I was really admiring his truck earlier , when I saw the truck. It was a 08 fully loaded, with rims and the whole shebang, looking like it was right off the car lot. Anyway, Sean tells me to follow the truck to see what this guy is up to. He says he is self proclaimed nosy person. I follow the truck and at the next stop light I pull up beside it. The guy looks over and does a head nod I do the same, and roll down my window. He rolls down his too. I quickly and again boldly asks him, what is he up to. He says, "Nothing just riding around." The light turns green, I look at Sean and he's not even paying any attention his head is down going through his cell phone. He got me to follow this truck to see what is up with this guy and he's not even paying any attention. I tell the guy to pull over for a minute and lets talk. So the guy pulls up to the curb. I ask Sean what does he want to know from this guy....He's like I don't know. I ask him does he want to do a threesome or something. He says he's never done that before, and doesn't really like the idea of it. I'm like I done got this guy to pull over, I need a reason as to why, and he really hasn't given me a reason too. Well I pull over in front of the Suv, and we both wait. Sean tells me, that he should come to us, but that guy didn't move, so I get out of my car and head back there, to Dreads car. Now even though, I think Sean isn't interested in any sort of threesome, but was just curious about this guy, I am, so I head to his car to see what was up. Inspired once again by the book I read, and the main characters two lovers, I want me another threesome. He unlocks his door. We talk for a minute. He asks me did, he see another guy in my Suv, and I tell him yeah. He's all shocked, I leave what he thinks is my man, to talk to another guy. I explained that he is not my man, and it was his idea to track him down , and to see what was up with him.

Let's fast forward to the other guy locking up his car and following me back to my car to talk to Sean. Now in my little nasty perverted mind, I'm thinking I'm going to get these two guys into a hot threesome. Now Sean seems pissed that Dreads is here, at first. Anyway we all are talking, and basically Dreads is asking sexual question about his two new "friends" and we are answering. Blah blah Blah....Me and Sean are DL and Dreads is Out but not vocal about it... Me and Sean are in our 20s but Dreads is 40 however really doesn't look it... Me and Sean single and Dreads just got out a 16 year relationship, with some dude. Blah blah blah we talk some more. Sean is getting anxious and says, look what up with me, are we still going to do something. I'm torn now, because, well I don't think he wants a threesome, and Me and my actions has this guy other guy here, and I don't know how to tell him, that it's been real, but me and Sean got to go. That's when he informs us, that he is going wherever we go, because he wants to watch.

Sean doesn't say anything. I ask him over and over, again is he cool with it and he just sorta groins. Then he says that I am going to need to speak up and say what I want. In the back of my mind I still want a hot steamy threesome, however this changes that fantasy. I wanted threesome, not some guy watching us. Now I don't mind watching, but having some person just sit there and watch, is a whole other story. I drive off waiting for Sean to speak up and say, he wants me to drop him off as his car, but he doesn't. All he says is what ever we do, we need to decide quick to do it and do it, because he has to get home and get some sleep and get ready for work, because he had to be at work at 8 am.

Cut to us at the park. Since none of us wanted to take this little party to our place, we went to the place Dreads wanted to go this huge park, with a a huge man made lake. This park is surrounded, by projects and low income houses on one side, and old money white historical homes, on the other side. The park is huge and intricate and it's were I here a lot of sex happens. I myself had not been there since my dad took me, when I was 8 to feed the geese and ride water paddles. This was by far a whole new experience. In the middle of the night, and with sex in tole. We stop by some picnic tables, that over look part of the huge lake. It's dark and I'm nervous now. Dreads gets out to go pee, and I ask Sean is he sure he wants to do this. He is quite and and doesn't say anything. I get out truck and I walk around to the passenger side. He doesn't move. I open the door. Dreads comes back and ask are we doing this or what. I look and Sean and grab his hand, and we walk to the picnic tables. The are wet, from the rain earlier, so those are out. We are all just standing there. When Dreads walks over to Sean and reaches into his pants to pull out his dick. I ask him, "I thought you were just watching?"

Now I'm not going to get detailed about the actual sex, but I will say this. It started off good. A little touching her, a little tongue there, a little oral there, and so on. However Dreads, our supposed watcher, was directing, and then he grinds on Sean, talking about how he wish he had condoms. He becomes more than a watcher. For some reason the more we did, the more I was getting out of it. I wasn't feeling sexy and self assured as I did earlier that night with them, because the both of them at one time was always grabbing or touching my ass. Now one of the many things I wanted to post about recently is my nerves. I have really bad nerves, and now they are producing whelps and rashes all over my body. I'm on nerve medicine and expensive medicated creams. Although they are not noticeable badly on my upper body they still are on my hips, butt and lower legs. The more my ass was touched the more I got self conscience, about my butt and hips. Then there was the Dreads and Sean thing. Dreads was all over Sean's jock literally. Going on about how "He wish he had a condom to do Sean sweet ass", or "How Sean's dick was so huge he wish he could fill it inside of him, blah blah blah." Now I sorta brought the three of us together, well I invited Dreads to my car to talk with me and Sean, but some how I felt like a third wheel. It was just going down hill for me. I kept backing away and Sean kept pulling me back in. Even though he was the most nervous, and every time we saw a light or a thought that a car was coming, he was pulling his pants up rushing to get back to the car and into the car...he was really into the whole thing. For someone who didn't want to even do it it he was enjoying it. However I wasn't I had started to lose my erection all together. Which was truly a first for me. It was gone and withdrawn. I had stepped away again and my head was somewhere else, when one last car freaked Sean so bad, he jumped back into the car. I was ready to go at this point so I got back behind the wheel. We left back to Dreads and Sean's car. The only difference this time was Sean was in the back seat with Dreads.

So as I am driving, the two of them are in the back seat, having, what sounds like a good ole time. I am not sure at all what they did, because I didn't look back once. Not even the rear view mirror. I kept thinking about what had just happen. How a threesome I wanted, ended with me being the third wheel and the other two in the threesome in my backseat having the pleasurable time I was suppose to be having. apparently my whole demeanor had changed, because between moans and laughing, a concerned Sean kept asking me was I okay and why was I so quiet. I just would give him, a I'm cool and they would go back to whatever is they were doing.

When we get back to Dreads car, I'm just so ready for him to get out. I wasn't feeling him anymore. With all those damn gold teeth, if I had seen them when he was in his car, I would have rolled then, but can you do. Sean who came out of his shell, asked me when we stopped, did I want to come back there and join them. I declined, and made the excuse about there not being enough room back there for me. They both not to long after that straightens, up their clothes. I'm ready at this point to just go home. Earlier Sean had got Dreads number, but not mine, because I told him that he was just going to loose it. When he got out, to go to his car, he says "I have ever body's number from the car, but one...To bad I guess" and he grins at me. I give him my number again, but I don't expect a phone call.

Here I have been thinking that it is my bad sexual karma and all kinds of other reason as to why I had disastrous sexual experiences, and now I know. IT'S BECAUSE OF ME!!! Here I had what I wanted a possible hot new threesome, and I just become a huge disappointment. A wet third wheel and a drag. The guy would sorta brings the threesome together becomes the outsider of it. If I was Sean I wouldn't call me. I didn't bring anything to the show, but a flaccid dick. I didn't even offer my number to Dreads, I didn't want his and I could care less if I saw him again. This just shows you that a hot car and sexy hairstyle, doesn't mean you will find someone attractive. Which hasn't always been the case for me. I have actually thought someone was a lot cuter once I saw there car, however tonight was not the night.

The Secret About the Secret Blog is...

For the past couple weeks, I have gotten emails from fellow bloggers and from fellow readers who don't normally comment but read my blog, about my other secret blog, that you see on my profile page. Well the secret about this blog, is that there is No Secret! I do not write on this other blog, it's hard for me to sit down and write on this one, on a regular like I should, I mean I have half written post all over the place, but it's hard to sit down and finish, and tell you guys what's going on like I should, let alone to sit down and write on another secret blog. I have discussed everything from my first time with a guy, to threesomes, to sleeping with a pastor, to things that made me cry, to things, that embarrassed me...I have pretty much been candid on some private things in my life, well my sexual life and my enter thoughts, that was the purpose of me starting this blog. I talk about some things, that I could never...well would never tell anyone else, in my offline life, so at this time the other blog, doesn't have anything written in it.

The purpose of the other blog, was to have a playground to experiment, in creating a new layout or design for this blog. I'm kinda bored with it already, and I want something new and fun. I created the secret blog, to come up with some ideas, and experiment. I didn't want to try it out on this blog, so I set up the other one to try out things. However I still feel limited, in what I can do. I think I am going to have to go into HTML territory, to really get, what I'm trying to achieve, and well I really don't want to... or well don't know if I can anymore. I haven't done that kinda stuff, since like freshman year, in high school, and I really don't remember that much about it.

Anyway, I don't want anyone felling left out, like they are shut out, from some secrets I'm holding back... because that's not happening. However this has shown me I have a lot of secret readers, who don't say a thing, but tell me, they read whenever I do manage to post...it's left me with a hmm.

Since people are pulling out the emails, to contact me about the secret blog, y'all can email me, with some ideas, on what I could do, as far as my blog goes. I want something that allows me to have a little more freedom, with my layout, and where I can put things, yet still captures me.

Llody teaches lessons in love...

I'm so glad, that some new male R&B, has arrived. Not that I haven't been loving Raheem Davaugh, Lyfe Jennings, and all the other neyo-soul out there, both female and male, but I need something else, I wanted some body moving and up tempo R&B music....However I didn't get that with Lloyd's Lesson in Love either.

I really loved Llody's last album Street Love, which I think was highly under rated, so I thought that, Lesson in Love was going to be a continuation, of that album. It was in the since of it having a lot of mid tempo, love ballad songs. He is one of our great falsettos that we have right now next to Robin Thicke. This is a great album, for getting busy or messing around, with your love one, but not great for working out with, trust me I tried. I'm still feeling it, because it's fresh and new. I was really feeling the second single and pretty much only up tempo song, "Girls Around the World", feat. Lil Wayne, its a sample of Rakin and Eric B's "Paid in Full". It's filled with some great ballad songs, like "Treat You Good" and "Year of the Lover." My Favorites are the sexual laces songs like "Sex Education" and "Love Making 101", which isn't really about making love.

My "Ah that's my Jam" of the moment is Robin Thicke's Magic. I'm really feeling the song and the video. After his last album the Evolution of Robin Thicke, he isn't planning on waiting a few years to bring us more great music, like he did after his first album. I'm really feeling this joint, and he does have the magic, because he is everywhere writing and producing.



My "Ah that's my Jam II" of the moment is James Fortune and Fiya's "I Trust You." It being the song I heard not to long after, getting the inspiration fro my last post. It really is speaking to my soul. When everybody let's you down, and you feel you have nothing left...all you can do is trust in the lord, because he will see you through it all, and be there for you. Just trust in him and everything will work out for the good.

My Throwback of heavy rotation is Ginuwine's The Bachelor album. Before Lloyd's new album, I was in need of some good old fashion R&B, and I wanted a male's voice too, I pulled this out. It being one of my favorite albums from him. I remember first seeing the "Pony" video like it was yesterday. This is when Ginuwine was on fire, and before he settled down and started poppin out babies left and right with Sole`. When there was all those rumors about him being a former stripper and everything. Damn he was sexy. I even love his version, of one on my favorite songs "When Doves Cry." These was the day when Timberland used to produce for black people. ManI wish they could reunite for Ginuwines's next album.

My Inspriational Music of the moment is Dorinda Clark-Cole's Take It Back. Dorinda didn't waste anytime after the recent release of the Clark Sister's aledgedy last album, to come out with another one of her solo efforts. However it was originally pushed back becasue of the groups last album and touring. Dorinda i would have to say one of my favorites of the Clark Sisters. The lead single and title of her album "Take It back" is a great athem in claiming what is yaours and what God has promised you back from the devil and those who steal your Joy. As always Dorinda brings you the down home soul shacking organ bumbing gospel music, that feeds your soul.

Lord, here's my Vision...Make Me Over!

Today a incident with the champagne on a beer budget cousin just led me to breakdown a pray. It wasn't anything big, but it really got me thinking that I need God to put a renewal in my spirit. I know I don't do all the things that I should do, and one of those things is pray. I don't think...well no, I know I don't pray like I should. It's something that I have been taught since, as early as I can remember, but something I don't do as often as I know I should. however in this time in my life and in my family I think it's something I need to do more than ever. Every time I turn around there is something else, going on in my family, and it has truly gotten to a point, that I don't recognize them or me. I have changed myself and not for the better. I feel that I'm on a declining pathway. I feel my get up and go, my work ethic, my positivity, my optimism, my strive for the best, has all left me. Right before my little breakdown today, I couldn't help but think, God I want to sleep..sometimes I feel like I could just sleep forever. Sometimes I think it's depression and sometimes I think it's just laziness. Sometimes its so hard for me to drag myself out of bed. When I get out of bed I have such anger and resentment towards some people. I have unfortunately always been a person who held his anger, irritation, resentment, and frustration in...well until I explode. I think as I get older those feelings, which once exploded into wards or yelling, and now turning towards other things. Today with my cousin, I was driving him somewhere, since he has car trouble since the time of the credit card fiasco he put me in. A lot of people in my family are upset, that I'm now driving him around after what he did, to tell you the truth I still not sure why I'm doing it myself, but I know I have resentment every time I pick him up. That resentment frustrates me so much that I literally contemplate as I drive, pushing his head through the passenger window. No joke I literally sit there as I'm driving and I image myself doing serious bodily harm to him...Call me silly but I know that's not right.

As I was driving tonight there was two songs, that just rung in my soul, that I heard as my confirmations....James Fortune's "I Trust" and Tonex`'s "Lord Make Me Over." I felt they were for me. So as I was in my car by myself, I just started to pray to God. For some reason my car seems to be the place I do my best heart to heart with God. There was this recent episode of Run's House, where they were talking about Prayer notes, and how God reads your note and your heart as you write to him. I never written a prayer note before, but the bible does say "Write down the vision, and make it plain upon the tables, and he that readeth may run with it." Although this is a prayer and not necessarily a vision of anything concrete, it is a vision for me.

Dear Heavenly Father,

I write this in pursuit for you to renew my heart and soul, Lord. To break this spirit of depression and sorrow in my heart. To change my heart from heaviness, to joy again. Give me the drive to Lord to get up and go, and do the things I need to do and be. Take away any restraints of laziness, and give me the light of will power, and determination. I know that some things are within me, and only I can do, but release these things in me. Lord take away any ugliness in my heart. Take away anger and resentment and replace it with understanding and joy. Lord put me on a pathway to be a better man, that I know I can me. A pathway to being a better man, than those who I know and love. Let me be the example of what is right and not just another example as to what is wrong. Lord speak to me, in a way that allows me to make the right decisions regarding my future and destiny. Lord, help me be the shinning light I know I am. A man of God. Let me be a blessing to others.

Lord I'm ready for a change, create in me a clean heart, and renewed mind and soul, Lord. I trust that everything that my family is going through is for the greater good and your purpose and glory. I trust that everything will work out for the good. I know I don't do the things I should do and pray to you like I should, but I need a change. You said that write the vision down and make it plain, this is my vision for my self plain and clear. Do your work in me, Lord.

In Jesus name I pray and write this Amen.

Continuance of My Failed shot at Abstinence...

I got a few comments on the post before last, about, who the other guy was, that I mentioned. I will get to him later.

After parting ways with Chris in that parking lot that that morning, I was left feeling calm and energized. I think it's that something new feeling. That feeling you get at the very beginning of something you think is going to be filled with great possibilities. Now granted I had only just met him, but I felt like we were in sync with each... on the same page.... I felt we made a quick connection. I have found that sometimes that just happens. I have met friend that I just instantly clicked with, and felt like this was one of those times. We had a no hold bars, easy going, instant easily 4 or more hour conversation. That basically I ended, because I was tired and it was Sunday. I believe he could have kept going. I mean I think he wanted to go on in more ways than one. I was so proud how I had self control not to go farther, with him, right then. Now I know that I still wasn't innocent, in that I groped him, well unzipped his pants and groped him, as we were kissing, but I think that this is still progress. I felt he was feeling me and I was feeling him.

Now granted technically I didn't fall off of my abstinence journey yet, with that little encounter, but I was done for the week yet. Now I didn't finally connect with Chris until later that week. Now I wasn't going to contact him, for a couple days. That was my plan, didn't want to seem needy or what not, so I never contact right away. If he decided to call me right away...well eh alrighty then... but I wasn't calling him first. After the 3 day grace period, which is the not to soon, but not too far off appropriate time period. I decided to call him. As I was about to call him, I thought about the last of our conversation, and Chris's kinda insecure questioning about whether I was going to call him like I said I would but him not believing me, and me responding with, "..well you know the phone works both ways."

I also started to think about how I made all the first moves, from the talking to him first... to the coming out and asking him does he get down with men or not...to even the first kiss...As I was thinking, I decided that I'm not going to call him first, he can call me first, so I decided to wait it out a little longer.

I really didn't give it a second thought anymore, for a couple of days...until that Friday night. I don't know what it is about Friday and Saturday nights, that makes you think about love interest, dates, sex, and just extracurricular activities overall, with the sex of your choice. I thought about the whole not calling him some more, and thought well maybe I was wrong in my thinking. Maybe he just wasn't that kinda of guy who can make the first move. Even though he has been getting with guys the same about of time I have, I was a little more experienced at it, than him. He was pretty much taking the from my lead, that night. I decided to compromise with myself. I really didn't want to call him first, but I wanted to reach out at least, so I decided on texting him first.... I know what y'all are thinking...but that made me feel better, on caving in.

It took me a couple of minutes to come up with the right first text. I didn't want ti to be boring or your typical "What's up," "Hey," or "What's Good." Besides those short little cute greetings isn't my style anyway, I really don't know what to call my style, but I know that isn't it. After coming up with it, it was around the same time in the morning we had met, so sent him the message and here's how it went...

Me: Do you know what tomorrow around the same right now will be?
Chris: Who Dis! (Now I expected something better that that or just a what)
Me: Lol... yeah okay. (I thought he was joking, because it took a week for me to contact him)

Chris: Naw 4real who dis

Me: Are you serious? (I was a little confused since I had seen him type my information into his

phone and saved it)

Chris: Yea. Got a new phone ( Truth or excuse?)

Me: Yeah...sure whatever (yeah I had copped an attitude... I get it)

Chris: Oh yeah I remember ( Now suddenly he remembers...Not sure if he did or not...)

Me: So...

He didn't respond anymore after that, and neither did I. If he did remember, it didn't move him to say anymore. I really didn't know what to think about that. Now as I think about it, I don't know what I expected from that text conversation, but I thought it would go a whole lot better than that. I then decided to email a fellow blogger, who had a not so old post about relationship commandments or when you first meet someone things you shouldn't do. I don't know why but they stood in my mind. I really can't ask family and friends this, for obvious reasons. If you are slow and don't know, just look at the name of my blog. I explained to them the whole thing and they sent me an email back, explaining that not everyone, you are into are going to me into you...there's plenty fish in the sea.... and don't call him anymore, because if he was really into me, then he would have at least remembered you...which she had valid point to. I though long and hard about what they said. I had thought about the same thing, before they got back to me with an answer. I had actually decided I was just going to let the whole Chris thing go. I wasn't the bugaboo type...actually I never call or text guys first, so this was all new to me. However, actually after getting Southern Gal's email, it did the reverse impact on me, and a couple days later I did it again, because I just didn't get it.

Me: Yo, are you busy?

Chris: Who Dis (At least he is consistent, I'm guessing that's one of his quick texts)

Me: Young

Chris: O whats good wit u

Me: Got a problem

Chris: What

Me: Well this dude I met last weekend keeps giving me the who dis line and I don't get it.

Chris: Bad memory..lol

Me. So it has nothing to do, with you not wanting to talk to me, cuz I was going to step off.

Chris:________ ( Flat line because he didn't respond anymore after that)

After that I didn't text or say anything further on. I was confused as to what happen. What happen to the guy who was feeling me. The guy who was concerned about whether or not I was going to call him or not. The guy who was a little upset, that I didn't save his info in my phone right away. I JUST DIDN'T GET IT!

Now even though this part is going to make this a really long post. I'm going to go in, on the other guy, Von. I met Von the week of meeting Chris and then texting Chris. I met Von at a drug store. Here's the short version. After seeing him around the store a couple times. When I'm at the register, and so is he. He is looking at me all intense. He finally says "Yo son, you look familiar... don't I know you?" I mentioned how he look familiar too, but I didn't know from where. blah blah blah He mentions how he has a twin, maybe he knows me through him. I suddenly remember that I did meet a guy once, that talked about how he had a twin, and that maybe he does look like that guy. I mention how this guy though had cornrows. Von gets excited, and says,"Yo that was me, I had cornrows." He asks me for a lift a couple blocks to his house. I gave him one. Still didn't remember him exactly or what we did. Neither did he, but we did figure out, that maybe got down, because he mentioned how him and his twin both get down. Crazy I know, but what he said. He asks me for a lift a couple blocks to his house. We talk some more...blah blah blah, he asks for my number. I gave it to him. Didn't bother asking for his, because at the time I was still excited about Chris. So that's how I got reacquainted with Von.

Von was actually my rebound after that last text with Chris. A little pissed off that the whole Chris thing. Von called right on time. He called me not to long after my last text to Chris. I needed something....At this point I had been good for close to a month. I hadn't had any sex. Trying hard, to turn over my bad ways. Look for something more than just sex... a little connection. Got the little connection, and nothing came from that. I decided to go with the guy who was feeling me. The sex was cool, but nothing exciting, the first time. That is until the next time.

Tired of writing, will talk about Von some more later. The fact is that my period of abstinence is so over!